VENUS FLYTRAP. ❪ Natasha Romanoff ❫ ✓

two

Natasha rarely slept since Thanos snapped his fingers and half the world disappeared – since half of her family turned to dust. An hour of sleep was lucky for her. She was plagued by what could have been and what went wrong. Those thoughts kept her up at night until the morning then the process repeated itself. But things weren't so bad that she turned to alcohol. It didn't do much for her anyway because of the Red Room procedures. She was sure Tony would have turned to alcohol if Pepper was lost in the Snap. She was glad Tony was able to have his own family after Carol rescued him and Nebula in space.

Natasha was taught to be ruthless, fearless, and stoic, but years with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers taught her how to feel while still being good at her job. She had never known love - that she could remember - before Pixie. She was sure she loved Bruce in her own way, but their relationship was rocky and terrifying, leaving her to pick up the pieces when he left her. There was something about Bruce that attracted her to him, and she was sure it was that he seemed normal and didn't want the Hulk – he didn't want to be different, like her in a way. Her love with Pixie was a love unlike any other she had experienced before. The bright girl was always there to make sure Natasha was doing better than good. Pixie cared more about Natasha than she did herself. It was amazing how selfless she was. 

Natasha rushed to the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, throwing up whatever little food she had in her stomach. Starving didn't feel like starving to her anymore. The Red Room had taught her how to push through starvation. She forgot to eat sometimes and the ache in her stomach felt normal. It reminded her of the Red Room that she hated so much, but she found herself leaning into it after the Snap. Her mind was flooded with thoughts of the Red Room at times, and it had been getting worse. Sometimes, one single thought would linger and it was enough to make her cry. She never cried before. She was tough – an assassin. She wasn't allowed to cry or to feel emotions, but time with the Avengers taught her otherwise. She formed a bond with them and now they were gone. The thought that the Red Room was once her home did not sit well with her. She had so much blood on her hands.

Small hands found their way to Natasha's hair, pulling it back into a ponytail. She looked up from the corner of her eye, even though she already knew who it was. Even through the sound of her retching, she could figure out who it was based on the footsteps. Natasha was never truly relaxed. Her senses were always heightened, on the lookout for any new potential dangers.

"I made apple pie," whispered Pixie, handing a towel to her. "Just for you."

Natasha chuckled dryly, taking the towel Pixie handed to her. "None for Steve?" She wiped her mouth, wincing at the smell of her bile.

"I made chocolate chip cookies for him, but I guess you two could trade," said Pixie with a shrug.

Natasha folded the towel in half and wiped her face again. "No, I think I prefer apple pie to chocolate chip cookies."

Pixie smiled. "Great! Now, I just have to figure out what to make for dinner."

"You're so weird. Dessert before dinner."

Pixie frowned. "Sugar makes me crave savory stuff. Shut up," she mumbled. "Wanna take a shower first? I could join."

Natasha brushed back Pixie's stray strands of hair. "How could I say no to that?"

Pixie smiled, getting up from the bathroom tiles. She brushed off dust from her pants, then extended her hand to help Natasha off the floor. Natasha took her hand and got up, squeezing her hand briefly before letting go. Pixie walked to close and lock the bathroom door before stripping and helping Natasha out of her clothes. She knew Natasha liked boiling hot water in order to cleanse herself from the guilt and blood in her mind, but she settled for a normal hot temperature that night because Natasha didn't deserve to burn that night. She deserved to be showered with love, praises, and pastries.