Van Mentius Lim: My Pain (Completed)

Chapter 8: Story

Where did he go?

Bigla akong nag-panic kaya napatakbo ako para hanapin si Van. He is not inside in any bathroom sa ground floor. Napatingin ako sa paligid. Pero I am so sure na hindi ko nakita si Van kanina pauwi ko. 'Di kaya nasa kotse siya? Napatingin ako galing sa window. Wala naman ata e.

Pero to make sure na baka andun siya, pupuntahan ko nalang kasi tinted naman kasi yung car niya. Heavy tinted. For some reason. Napasok na naman sa utak ko ang 10 boxes of condoms niya. Oh my god.

Pagbukas ko nang pinto ay nakita kong bumukas yung ilaw sa second floor. Kung asaan ang room ko. Maybe he is there?

I cant call his name since ayoko naman na magising si Mommy.

I locked the door and I went to my room immediately. Nakita ko naman doon si Van.

"Hey." I said.

Napatingin siya sa akin.

"I was looking for you." Sabi niya. Napahawak naman siya sa ulo niya. I guess natamaan siya sa ininom niya kanina or dahil sa pagkakatumba niya kanina.

"Are you okay? Galing ako sa bahay mo. I thought Varys was there. And I just dont understand kung bakit bigla ka nalang nahimatay kanina." Sabi ko. "Are you okay?"

He shows a little smile.

"Just a little dizzy."

"Then you should rest. Sleep." Sabi ko.

He was convinced with the idea that I have. He went to the door and was about to come down the stairs.

"You can sleep in my room." Sabi ko.

He looked at me.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Nakita ko siyang napakagat ng labi slight. Pero I am not sure since medyo dim ang lights sa staircase. I saw him looking straight to me again and I can feel na parang biglang nagbago ang ihip ng hangin.

"I always faint whenever I see blood. So, I'm sorry if ganun yung nangyari kanina. Where's your mom by the way?" He asked.

"She's already in bed." I said in a whisper.

He nodded.

"You should sleep." Sabi ko ulit.

Napatingin ako sa kama ko. Okay, hindi naman makalat.

Bumalik siya sa kwarto pero parang nag-hesitate siya na pumasok ulit.

"Stay here and I'll be there lang sa living room. You need to rest." Sabi ko. He nodded naman. Well, hindi naman pala siya stubborn.

I immediately went downstairs and took all the blankets with me at dinala ko sa couch. I'll sleep here. Okay lang naman sakin. And it's just for tonight.

Yeah, pero—

Why cant I freaking sleep? Napatingin ako sa oras. Dang it, it's already 1 in the morning.

I sighed.

I tried na makatulog pero hindi ako makatulog. So I decided to watch Game Of Thrones. Picked up Season 4 since it is my favorite season. Mas madali naman kasing makatulog kapag may pinapanuod ka tapos dimmed ang lights. Good. Now I am all settled.

Actually, hindi naman talaga ako nanunuod ng TV. Sadyang nakatulala lang ako. Nakahiga naman ako kaya mas mabuti nang ready to shut down lang maya-maya.

I checked the time again.

Ugh, 2 in the morning.

"Hey."

Napatingin ako sa nakatayo malapit sa TV. It scares me at first na baka mumo pero si Van lang pala.

"Hey." I said.

Napaupo ako at saka naglaan ng space para maupo naman siya. Nakacover naman ang lowerbody ko ng blanket. Warm enough.

Napatingin ako kay Van.

I cant believe na magkasama kami 12 hours na.

"Uhm, maingay ba ang TV?" I asked.

"No, no. I just cant sleep." He said.

I sighed.

And I think he did too.

"Me, too." I said. "Upo ka. Let's watch this movie and fall asleep. You can just watch it and when you'll feel sleepy then, you could go back to my room." Sabi ko.

"I already watched GoT." He said.

I smiled, "That is why I am watching it again too since I want to fall asleep. Kasi I like listening to GoT kapag sa dawn. Kasi you'll feel sleepy talaga. Unless di mo pa napanuod, you'll stay up talaga diba." I smiled and he laughed.

Did it amused him so much na sobrang wide ng ngiti niya?

I gave him another blanket.

"Mas comfy kapag nanunuod ka habang may blanket. You'll feel sleepy sooner."

He just nodded.

He covered himself with blanket.

A long silence.

And Game Of Thrones continued.

"Can... I talk to you?" He asked. Not looking at me.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Uhm, Varys just having a problem with his friend." He started.

"Okay?"

"He like this girl and he just cant admit it." Sabi niya.

Napatingin naman ako sa kanya.

"Poor girl." Sabi ko naman as a joke kaya naman napatawa si Van. "Just kidding. Okay. I never thought Varys was serious. Didnt you say he is a player?"

I know its bad talking about Varys behind his back but Van started it.

"Thats the point. Varys is scared... to confess." Sabi niya. "And they just met."

"Well thats weird. They just met and he is so scared na."

"Love isnt about how long theyve known each other. It's the feeling that is so difficult to breakthrough?" Sabi naman niya.

I nodded out of confusion.

"Why cant just Varys admit it to her? You know. Have the guts to finally confess. I mean, if you like the person. Tell them." Sabi ko naman. This is not happening. Am I really giving out advices? For Varys? No way. Ive never done this before. Ever.

"It's hard  for Varys." Sabi niya. He looks so serious even though we are just talking about Varys here.

"Why?"

"Varys has a past. Dark, dark past." Van said and he looks like he is stopping his breath.

"It's up for the girl kung matatanggap niya ba." I said out of realistic opinion.

Van suddenly looked at me.

His eyes pierced through mine as if he is looking down at my soul. But it was more. I can see it.

"I hope so." He said. "If you were that girl, would you like Varys back? Despite his dark and shitty past?"

"Well, it is in the past right? It does made him who he  is today but his past doesnt define his present. But I thought Varys is a player still? According to you?" I asked.

Napaiwas siya ng tingin.

"Nagbago ata." Sabi niya.

I just let out a small laugh since antok na antok na ako.

We continued watching the GoT. We stay quiet after talking about Varys and his current situation. Surprising.

But is it really about Varys?