Call me by your name - Obama x Gaston

When he was a lad he ate 4 dozen eggs every morning to help him get large {1}

thank you for 1k reads very cool 

Gaston sighed happily as he threw his last dozen eggs into his mouth.

Now that he was grown he ate 5 dozen eggs, but he could still remember the days when he only ate 4.

A tear was brought to his eye as he daydreamed of his childhood memories, and when his father first forced those 4 dozen eggs down his throat.

His mother, Fiona, was completely against it and told Shrek that Gaston would choke. However, Shrek just told her 'Better out than in, I always say! harharhar'. Fiona had then told him that made no sense but Shrek didn't hear her as he was too busy forcing eggs down his son's throat.

Unfortunately, Shrek passed away last year due to a severe case of Ligma.

 Gaston had tried to comfort his mother, although deep down he too was hurting. His father was the best and most green friend he ever had.

Now he always remembered to eat his five dozen eggs every morning to help him get large, in remembrance of his father. 

-

Gaston was very excited as tonight was the night the new president was going to be elected. He sat down on his couch and pulled out his Mr Krabs body pillow to keep him company.

He turned his TV on and turned it to the first news channel he saw, as pretty much every channel would be covering the same thing. 

On the TV was a man and a woman, who both looked roughly 69.

But suddenly, the camera zoomed into the male candidates' face, and Gaston felt his heart drop.

He was hot, handsome and hot.

and large.

'He must eat 6 dozen eggs every morning to help him get large,' Gaston thought to himself.

He watched as the man introduced himself as Barack Obama.

 Gaston wondered what his last name was.

-

The votes were counted and the Obama man won by a mile. Gaston cheered and smashed a plate on the floor, which his sister Hillary Clinton had to clean up.

That night, he celebrated by eating 12 dozen eggs so he could get as large as his hero, Barack Obama.

He also made a mental note to himself to look up the guy's last name later.

-

As Gaston tried to lure himself to sleep, he found it nearly impossible as he just couldn't take his mind off the new president.

He was so large.

Gaston caught himself blushing and quickly hid his face in his large hands.

"shit."