More Than a Game | Mason Mount

Twelve

I almost wish Frank hadn't played me in the game after all. We were flat – uninspiring. When we went down after a lucky goal just before the halftime whistle, we had no response. And then, when we finally seemed to get back into the game with a penalty, Fran – who was normally Miss Reliable from the spot – fired it into the crossbar. 

I came off before the pen was even awarded. Frank and Jody could clearly see that, although I was match fit, I wasn't ninety minutes fit. Towards the seventieth minute, my body started tiring and my level of play was dragged down further than it already was. I trudged off and sulked on the bench next to Spencer for the remainder of the game. 

I felt awful for Fran as the final whistle blew. Sure, our designated penalty taker shouldn't be hitting the crossbar, but it wasn't her fault that our only chance came from a lucky penalty. Well, actually, we'd had plenty of opportunities and just lacked the talent to take them. 

Overall a pretty bleak night, I drove home from the hotel with extremely low spirits compared to Saturday. Frank had been pretty brutal in the team talk but, much to my relief, not called out Fran on the missed penalty in front of the whole team. I wondered as I pulled up at my building how she would be dealing with it all. 

It was close to half eleven when I climbed into bed. I was keen to put the bad game out of my head and focus on Sunday and wrapping my head around facing one of my best friends. Despite Mason's words, I was still nervous. Emma and I normally chatted just about every day, but apart from sending me a good luck message for Valencia, we hadn't exchanged messages at all. I knew we wouldn't chat again until afterwards, too. 

After a restful off day on Wednesday, I was surprisingly looking forward to the day of training ahead at Cobham. Mostly, though, I was excited to hop onto the physio table and have them rub my legs out until I couldn't feel them anymore – seventy minutes of football and I my calves and hammies were tightening up already. 

When I pulled into the parking lot earlier than I needed to, I tried to do what I always did and find Kyle. Wandering through to the canteen, I expected to see him sitting there already, a cup of tea in his hands. Diego, Rodri and Lucia sat at one table; a group of staff members sat at another; Thomas and Emil were making some toast. Kyle was nowhere to be seen. 

I returned the wave from Emil. "Hey, have you seen Kyle?" 

My captain shrugged and shook his head. "No, sorry Beck!" 

I was certain I'd spotted Kyle's car in his usual spot, and he was in the canteen almost every morning when he arrived. Confused, I headed for the changing room instead. I'd seen Annika's car, too, and I knew the Dane spent an age in front of the mirror every morning twisting her hair into elaborate plaits. Kyle must have gone to the physio or medic, I decided, remembering his early departure from the pitch on Tuesday because of his ankle. 

Pushing open the door to the changing room, I looked up and stopped. Annika was there all right, but seated under her arm was a hunched over Fran, tears streaming down her cheeks. Blinking in surprise, I met the red eyes of the Belgian. 

"Morning, Beck." 

"Fran! Are you okay?" 

Coming to my senses, I rushed to the other side of Fran. She was nodding, but my heart still twisted as I saw her up close. She lifted a hand to wipe her cheeks and I glanced at an anxious Annika. 

"Um, not really," Fran stammered, her voice shaky. 

I widened my eyes at Annika, questioning her with my expression. She just shrugged, her blue eyes alarmed. Then she looked back down at Fran, rubbing her hand up her arm. 

"Sorry, guys, I don't—" she took a gulping breath in, "—I just need a moment." 

"Take your time," I said, placing a comforting hand on her knee. "Can I get you anything?" 

Fran shook her head. Annika's mouth opened and closed, but it seemed like we were all at a loss of words. Fran started to compose herself and, after a minute or so, took a deep breath in. 

"I'm sorry for shouting at you two," she started, still unsteadily. "I just... Guilio and I had a big fight and then I've been playing so badly and I saw that video and I..." she trailed off with a sniff, new tears welling in her eyes. 

Pity stung my heart. "It's okay, Fran. You don't need to explain yourself." 

"I do," she cried, taking another gulping breath in. "I've been horrible at playing and to you and I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, it's okay," Annika said quickly, her eyes still panicked. "Beck was horrible when she was injured." 

I shot her a look over Fran's head, my chest stinging for a different reason, but Annika gave me a look that said get over it. 

"Exactly," I muttered, rolling my eyes at the Dane. "We're all horrible sometimes." 

Fran nodded and sighed helplessly. Annika cleared her throat. 

"Are things okay with Guilio?" she asked timidly. 

Again, Fran's eyes began watering. "I don't know." Another big sniff. "He's been away at home. He comes back tonight." She swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "I'm scared to see him." 

"I'm sure it'll be okay," I cooed, at the same time as Annika asked "What happened?" 

Fran took another deep breath. "It's stupid. About that stupid video." She shut her eyes. "I know it's silly but it got in my head." 

I took a deep breath in. As much as I wanted to empathise with Fran, I knew it was better to give her some tough love. People were always going to criticize her – criticize all of us – and if she got this affected every time it happened, things would get messy quickly. 

"Look, Fran." She looked up at me, eyes wide, and I doubted myself for a moment. "Uh." I swallowed and decided to save my unwanted advice for another time. "I don't know what happened with Guilio but I'm sure it will have blown over by now, right?" I looked to Annika for support. 

"Exactly." She smiled as Fran gave a small nod. "And the people on that video don't know what they mean." 

"They get paid to talk shit, Fran," I added. "It's their job to find someone to criticize and it sucks when it happens to you, but tomorrow they'll be talking about someone else and everyone will have forgotten it ever happened." 

"Yeah! And when you get confidence back, you'll show them." Annika pulled Fran in for a hug, who was showing the smallest sign of a grin. "Because you're a great player." 

"Such a great player." I smiled, too, as Fran held out an arm. Falling against her, I felt her chest vibrate with a chuckle. 

"Thank you. And sorry for shouting at you." 

I giggled, too, relieved to hear a somewhat happy sound from Fran. Having her as moody as she had been was a struggle, but now there was hope she would get back to her usual, upbeat self soon. 

A noise from the door made me sit up. Kyle walked in with Thomas and David, all three of them talking over each other. When they saw the three of us sitting there, their voices dropped. David and Thomas broke away to their respective lockers, but Kyle headed over, a frown on his face. 

"You guys good?" He sat down next to me and for the first time I noticed the strapping on his ankle. 

"Yeah, all good." Fran shared one last look with Annika and me before she stood up. "Anyone for some tea quickly?"