Unreadable. Unreachable. Unrequited. | TsukiYama ✓

1

[Yamaguchi]

"...and so the lady behind me dropped all her food on the floor and I really wanted to laugh, but I didn't 'cause she was really old so I picked everything up for her instead. Then out of nowhere this woman pulls out a gold sticker and puts it on my shirt and goes 'what a lovely young girl' then goes to pay! As in, she cuts in front of me and goes to pay!"
I hear a giggle from beside me and glance over to see Shoyo Hinata grinning as I retold my story from yesterday. Hinata, along with Tobio Kageyama from our volleyball team, usually walk back with us after practise. We were all first years and all joined Karasuno volleyball club at the same time and, even though I tried to be as friendly as I could to the two, I knew Tsukishima would never even bother. So I wasnt all too close to them.

Kei Tsukishima, or Tsukki as I'd grown to calling him over our years of knowing eachother, was tall and lanky, the tallest out of us four (which was saying something as Kageyama was 6"). I'd known him since forever and we'd grown up together. Nobody understood Tsukishima like I did and so that's why I didn't mind when he ignored my stories. He was walking beside me and was who I was really talking to, but he had his headphones on and if the little group fell into silence we'd faintly hear some music playing through them.

I didn't mind talking to no one, Tsukishima just being there was enough for me. Even if he wasn't listening, even if he didn't care... I'd fallen too far for him to even bat an eyelid.

"Yamaguchi."
I looked over to Hinata and realised I must've zoned out just staring at Tsukishima again.
"You know he's not listening, right? He can't hear you?"

"Oh yeah, I know." I assured, waving my hands in the air dismissively.

"Why bother talking to him then? He's too stuck-up to pay attention and your stories are great!" Hinata held a thumbs-up, which made me chuckle.

"Well... he's my best friend. I like talking to him." I rubbed my neck, shrugging with a little smile on my face.

"Best friend? But he ignores you so much. Like, look-"
Hinata glanced to Kageyama. "Kageyama!" Immediately the taller boy looked down at the ginger, scowling, but he looked at him.

"What?" He snapped. But he talked him.

"See? Kageyama was in a world of his own, but he talked to me. We're best friends!" Hinata grinned up at Kageyama, who just frowned back.

"We're not friends, dumbass Hinata." He grumbled, then walked ahead.

"Kageyama! Wait for me! Sorry Yamaguchi, I'll see you tomorrow. Kageyama!"
And with that, Hinata ran off. I slowly looked up at Tsukishima... his face hadn't broken from his usual bored expression once.

"Tsukki..?" I asked hesitantly. Nothing.
"Tsukishima?" I repeated. Nothing.
"Kei?" Again. Nothing.

Of course, he's wearing headphones. He can't hear me... But he hasn't looked at me once during the walk home. He never does anymore. The two sides of my head were arguing here, giving me a headache. I rubbed my temples, hoping the motion would give him some sign to look at me. But again, of course, there was nothing.

This was... weird, to say the least. Tsukishima often ignored me, he ignored everyone after all, but ever since we got back from the Tokyo training camp things have been different. He'd grown even more distant from me, more than ever before. He still talked to me, I guess; to everyone else nothing had changed. To me it had.
I paid so much attention to Tsukishima all the time, I knew something was on his mind that made him feel as if he couldn't talk to me... He could. I wish he would.

"Tsukki?" I asked, eventually just tugging at his sleeve. He looked over at me finally and I smiled, watching him take off his headphones and leave them around his neck.

"What?" Tsukishima murmured, his full attention on me.. it felt nice. I liked having him look at me.

"Oh uh- nothing really.. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a snack?" I smiled a little more, anxiety etched into my features as I pointed to a corner shop with my thumb. He looked to the shop, then simply pulled his headphones back on and shook his head.

"No. See you tomorrow."
I hadn't realised we were at the break in the street that led to our different roads by this point. He walked away and I must've looked quite crestfallen.
I just wanted to spend time with my best friend. Was that such a bad thing? Was it so bad that I may be in love with him that I can't even be around him? I would drop those feelings as quick as possible as long as I could just be noticed by him.

I started trudging down my road, barely keeping track of the houses.
Having Tsukishima look at me felt amazing. He always seemed to put full focus on what he was looking at, so knowing that occasionally I would be the only thing he focused on was... incredible. I was selfish, very selfish, I could admit to that. I craved any and all attention from Tsukishima, even if he was just telling me to 'shut up' it would make me feel all warm inside because he actually spoke to me.

It's a great feeling, getting noticed by the one person who makes your life bright. I'd seen so many sides of Tsukishima that no one else would and that made me feel special to him. It felt like I was worth something to him.

Pushing away all the negative thoughts Hinata had brought about earlier from the walk, I opened my front door and walked into the house. My family was quite average, all things considered. I was an only child and was often home alone as my parents both worked late night shifts. I didn't mind all too much though, since I knew they had too to make sure I was fed and healthy.

I slowly made my way up to my room, Tsukishima on my mind like usual. I was always thinking about him... did he ever think of me? I'm not denying that I know a lot about my best friend, but I'm no mind reader. I can't tell what he's thinking all the time and I hate that. Tsukki could just be so difficult to read sometimes, and I was usually good at reading people.
I sat at my desk and opened up my workbook, trying to take my mind off of my friend by focusing on homework. Homework that he usually helped me with...