I Wonder If He Can Hear Me Crying...

Okay everybody so i no that i have so many unfinished stories, but dont worry. it's not a load on my back. I like to upload stuff when i come up with the idea for it.  This is something that i really want to do(: i hope my fans and regular readers like this, and anyo  of you new people reading this(:

-> lostyetfound

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1st Part

I dropped m dress slowl to the floor and frowned at the brusises. I hate looking into the mirror, but i always do it anyways. Who would have know that wishes really do come true? My mom always said, 'Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it'. Too bad i didn't listen. I told my mom that i wanted to be a model and actress. I prayed for it every night. I wished on every first star in the night sky, i wished on every shooting star, and on any four-leaf clover. I got it. I got the penthouse i wanted, the cars, and the money. I got the publicity, the fame, and the fans. I got the whole package. I even got the perfect husband.

When the abuse came in the contract, i missed, but i got it when i signed my name over to the devil. I wish i had neve wished, i wish i had never yearned for this live. Because it isn't all stars and campagne. It's hard, and it's frustrating. It makes you cry, and it puts you through truck-loads of pain. You lose your family and your life to it. It's a crime to be yourself, you have to be what everyone makes you into. It's a nightmare, it's no dream come true.

I put on the sleepwear that had been sent to me by my director or my lastest movie, Writing Notes. I was awarded Best Actress Award at the party i'd attended earlier today.  Hayden was proud of me for a moment, kissed me in public, gave me a new diamond necklace for congradulations, but when we got home he switched on me. He gaveme my nwest bruise, simply because i hadn't worn the attire of a woman that was expecting such an honorable award. He threw two more magazine modeling dates on me, and told me to get out of his face. I love Hayden, with all of my heart, but money changed him. He ot possessive and abuse. If he's not hitting me, he's yelling. If he's not yelling then he's sleeping with another woman in my bed while im in the next room. But i love him. I walked out of the bathroom and slowly made my way over to the bed where Hayden lay silently sleeping. I kissed his forehead, went for the index cards in his side table and pulled my lighter from up underneath the bed. I went out onto the balcony, and began writing on the index card.

                                              Even though you hit me, you treated me like dirt,

                                                  and you left yet another bruise, i love you.

                                            And i will forget this ever happened. I forgive you.

I took my lighter and set the card on fire. I lightly touched my bruise, shed my last tear over the pain, and let the index card float through the air. Things like this are so beautiful. When i forgive i write what it is that i'm forgiving down on a sheet of paper, i end it with i forgive you, and i watch it burn. My old physchologist told me that it'd help. Ever since i was a tween it's lifted loads off of my shoulders. I turned around, went back inside, and laid down after shutting he balcony door and stashing my lighter. I cuddled up against Hayden and tried my best to fall asleep.

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no the movie i put doesnt exist, and i know i go the whole i forgive you thing from a christmas movie, i just put more to it. I know you don't know what the main charcter's name is but that might not float in until like the third part. I want to make sure the name is perfect for my character(:.

->lostyetfound

p:s- i'll be posting the second part later tonight,(: