sincerely, random.

Prologue

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a beautiful young princess was born. Rosy red cheeks and soft golden hair adorned her petite face, and her laughter- Oh her laughter. It was as melodious as the songbirds that perched on the windowsills, as refreshing as a sparkling blue river, and as bright and cheery as the morning sun. She was the embodiment of happiness and joy, the hopes of all men, the shining future of the kingdom. Destined as the succeeding ruler of the Kingdom of Imaginasia, this kid had nothing short of a bright future awaiting her.

But as all cliche stories go, things went downhill pretty fast.

Lurking in the woods of Dark and Scary Forest was an old and evil witch. Word of the princess got around very quickly and has before long reached her big, ugly, gross ears. (She had bad ear hygiene.)

"Bah." the witch spluttered as she removed a maggot from her right earhole. It had been boring at her skin for quite some time now and was starting to cause discomfort. "And what, exactly, has this anything to do with me?" She raised one eyebrow at her messenger, a typical warty toad that wanted nothing more in the world than to stay at least six feet away from the witch and her disgusting ways.

Toad stared back unblinkingly (Do toads even blink?) as his tiny brain tried to comprehend what his master was saying. Sadly, toads aren't exactly the sharpest beings on the planet. "But my lord, isn't that what all witches do? Kidnap innocent princesses and be a huge pain in the ass for the kingdom?"

"That's cliche."

"Indeed, my lord."

"And precisely why I should do so," the witch said as she sneezed grotesquely, causing more maggots to fly out of her ears. It was all poor Toad could do to keep from passing out. "At dawn, we ride."

And so it was, that very night, with the entire kingdom under the looming haze of sleep, the young princess was kidnapped. The kingdom awoke in a state of frenzy, the most devastated of course being the king and queen. They sent knights, horsemen, hunting dogs, the most technologically advanced searching device they could find, but all to no avail. Their precious was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, the evil witch was soaring through the sky on her trusty dustpan, (brooms are soooo primitive..) cackling as a cliche witch would. Toad was right on her head, trying REALLY hard not to puke. The princess, though she was born just yesterday, had incredibly good reflexes and was hanging on for dear life on her kidnapper's tiny dustpan handle.

"Watch out, my lord!" Toad croaked in alarm. They were now flying over the dark, gloomy woods of Dark and Scary Forest, and the princess was travelling dangerously close to the trees below. Too late. SMACK! She received a nice gift- a perfectly timed smack from a perfectly placed tree on her perfectly shaped head. She did the most natural thing.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Oh, throttling toads.' the evil witch muttered, earning a sideways glance from her servant. "Shut up already."

But she wouldn't. The princess wailed on and on like a drone, and pretty soon the witch was fairly sure that the whole kingdom could hear them.

"Blabbering, boisterous..." before the witch cursed so much that her momma would be proud, she landed her dustpan in a small clearing, which just so happened to have a nifty little portal in its midst. Fortunately, there was no one there, or they would surely have been startled by the strange sight- a cursing witch, a nauseous toad and a wailing princess floating down on a dustpan like those UFOs you see in movies.

As soon as they were safely on the ground, the toad hopped off to do its business. It was then when the witch had the utmost pleasure to behold the horrendous smell of toad puke. 

"So.. what now?" the witch asked, wrinkling her already wrinkled nose at the screaming baby at her foot.

The Toad hobbled back with his face a fresh new shade of green. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, with the rate of how cliche things have been going, the princess's soulmate should be here any second to rescue her. Classic."

"Blah, why did I even consent to do this in the first place?"

"No idea, my lord."

And at that very moment, a young immortal prince emerged from the woods, just so coincidentally hunting right where the odd trio had landed. He was from the neighbouring Kingdom of Soulmatten, and had the princess grew up normally, she would find this charming young lad her one and only true love.

Sure, the prince would have been wary of the old hag and her animal, but one glance at the baby princess and he knew their fates have been sealed, despite the odd bruise on her forehead. (Even that part of her was somehow enticingly beautiful... sorry no pedophilia .) He immediately straightened from his slouching position and removed the piece of veggie still stuck to his teeth. Good impressions are everything.

"Who goes there?" The prince demanded in the most princely voice he could muster.

"Tis I, The Ugly Old Witch of Dark and Scary Woods," the witch announced in a most witchy manner. "We have the princess of Imaginasia in our hands, and you shall not have her!"

"Fight me."

Ok at this point I could put in a very incredible fight scene, but I shall stick to the truth and say what really happened. Before the prince could boldly say anything more, the witch yeeted the princess into the portal.

The End. HAH.

Haha ok not so fast. I still gotta get a few things straight. Still, hope you enjoyed that little story I put together. Mind you, every bit of that is completely true.

The princess in question? Yeah that's me.

Stripped of my royal status, my perfectly detailed features, my handsome charming soulmate, mercilessly chucked into this portal which led me to where I am now. Stinking, horrible Earth.

(JK I love my home.)

Forced, to have a boring status. Forced, to have a boring name. Forced, to live a boring life. And, I'm pretty sure now you all know why, with my melancholic story as proof, I have lesser than the average number of brain cells (blame the tree branch) and why I am still single as a pringle. (my soulmate still back there *sniffs* :'(  

And so, in a nutshell, this is me. :)

As boring as life is right now, I know things will always be better when we strive to stay positive.

At least, I can still be random.

Sincerely random.

And I'll let you be a part of it. ;)

Till next time baibai-