Tell Me Why You Love Me - TMWYLM - Book 1 {PREVIEW}

Prologue

Sometimes life can spring surprises your way whether you want it to or not. Some are good surprises - a new car, acceptance into University, winning the lottery – and others are... Well, bad surprises.

Honestly, I think I have had more than my fair share of surprises, and not of the good sort.

My Best friend hating me, my cat getting run over, my uncle in jail, my family split... My mother’s death.

 I guess the last one was the most painful of them all. She was the one who took me with her when she and Kyle divorced. I was the pillar of her support, and she was the sun to my Earth...

I never thought she would go as far as to hang herself.

 I still remember that day clearly as if it were only yesterday. But in fact, it was a little over a month ago...

"Mom, I'm home!" I yelled as I opened the door to a small hallway. "Sorry I'm a little late! I was held back for baseball practice..." I threw my school bag to the side and slipped off my shoes. "You know, that school should really get better equipment." I started talking, making my way down the hallway and through to the kitchen, grabbing myself a glass of cranberry juice. "So how was your day?" I asked, entering the living room, happily sipping my cranberry juice. "Mom? You there?" I asked, before lowering my glass from my lips.

 There was a clatter. My hand had weakened and the glass fell from my grasp onto the carpet staining it a crimson red. "M-mom...?" My voice was weak.

 I couldn't breathe.

 It was as if I was the one in my mother's position. I was choking. My lungs wouldn't fill with air. I couldn't breathe... I couldn't see... I couldn't hear...

 Mom... Please tell me this is some sick joke. Please. Mom? I thought to myself, unable to find my voice.

 I saw her limp body rotate slowly from the noose with a chair toppled over beneath her. 

I couldn't feel my legs, or my arms, or my heart. My life all but suddenly collapsed in that fleeting instant. I fell under the weight of my body, feeling like my legs were no longer there. I couldn't see through the tears, I couldn't see my mother's body, I couldn't see my life, I couldn't see anything.

All I could do was stare. My mind had gone blank. I couldn't even tell you who she was. But I knew who she was. And I knew she was dead.

 I tried to get myself back to reality and out of my stricken fear. Get yourself together, Freesia. I tried to blink the tears away, so that I could see at least a little solid shape. I tried to find my legs and push my body to my feet, but I couldn't.

 I managed to crawl myself out of the room so that my eyes didn't have to stare at the body that was my mother. 

Suddenly, I snapped out of it and frantically started to look around. Phone. I have to find the phone.

 I saw it on its stand in the hallway and I tried getting to it quickly, stumbling and tripping along the way. I struggled to dial the numbers with how extensive my body was shaking. I wasn't even sure I was even able to speak.

"Hello?" A woman's voice spoke on the other end.

"...Help me." I tried to speak, but I only could make out a whisper under the quivering in my voice. "Help me..." I tried again, this time a little louder, but a lot more shaky.

"Calm down, tell me what's happened." The woman asked sweetly.

I wanted that voice to be my mother's. But it would never be. I swallowed trying to force the lump in my throat back down, but it only made it worse. "My mom, she.... She's..."

"Sweetie, calm down and tell me your address. We'll get some help right away." She replied. I could hear worry in her voice. She knew what I was trying to say without me actually saying it.

 I told her my address and then hung up, waiting for help to come. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even scream out my pain.

 I wanted to see my mother... But not in the state she was right then and there. I wanted to see her alive with that joyous smile on her face and her eyes full of pride and joy. Her hands with the comforting warmth that would make you feel safe even if you were in a war zone.

 But, she was nothing more than a cold, lifeless body; colourless eyes with less of an expression than a killer; hands cold and frightening like a dagger.

She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be dead. I continued to repeat in my head, unable to fight the overflowing sadness and the heart-wrenching pain in my chest. I felt sick. Scared. Alone. Lost.

 My loss on that very day was just the start of all my problems...