pirate king (pirate!au) ➵ ateez ✔️

confession

You recognise that expression because you've seen it before, in another pair of green eyes filled with anguished acceptance at your rejection. Dread fills your chest, from the tips of your toes all the way to roots of your hair. Oh no...

"Are you sure you haven't had any encounters with the Royal Navy before meeting us?"

Your captain's question takes you by surprise, and it takes you a long second or two to answer. "No... I don't believe so. At least if I did, I don't remember them." Your mind is still swirling with tentative worry, pondering whether you should ask him outright or not.

You can't let his feelings for you continue to grow anymore - of course, should they exist in the first place. The kindest thing to do would be to stamp them out before they bloom, for a blossom to fall would be infinitely more painful than yanking out an ungrown seedling. But how do you go about doing that?

You're not sure if you have the strength to push yet someone else away again.

Hongjoong remains silent for a moment as he thinks on your words, his one green eye searching your face, and your heart seems to pause in your chest. "You... don't believe that I'm telling the truth?"

"No, no, no, of course I believe you." Hongjoong is quick to reassure you, although his gaze is still faded, lost in thought somewhere. "It's just... a mystery to me, you see. From what I heard from the Tortuga town officials today, the Royal Navy is offering more than the entire bounty on this ship to have you taken in alive. Which brings me to the question of: why does the Royal Navy want you so badly?"

From now on, we'll be in immense danger because of this, goes unsaid by him.

A bitter taste lodges in the back of throat when you hear the words 'Royal Navy', a shudder running through your body. That's a ridiculous amount of money, you think, despair seeping into your bones. "Will the crew be in danger because of me, captain?"

Hongjoong must hear the tremble in your voice, because his expression softens, and one of his hands come up to rest on your shoulder, almost painfully gentle. "Well, it's not like we haven't been in danger even before you joined, so nothing's changed there." Still, you can hear the strain in his voice, the worry that lingers in the back of his mind that clings to him like a relentless parasite. "I promise, we'll protect you with our lives."

"That's not what I asked." Your voice sounds tiny even in your own ears, and you look down at the floorboards between your feet, unable to meet his gaze. "I wanted to know if the crew would be in even more danger because of me. Because if it ever comes down to it, captain, you should just-"

The grip on your shoulder tightens almost imperceptibly. "Chin Hae. Hey, Chin Hae, look at me." He coaxes you to look into his eyes, his fingers lightly grasping your chin to tilt it upwards. "Don't go getting any silly ideas now. You're a precious crew member to me. As the captain, I would do anything in my power to keep you safe from harm, and I know the rest of the crew feels the same."

"But is that really all there is to it?" You're shocked at the boldness of your own words, and for a second, your captain falters, eye widening in stunned surprise. Before you can catch yourself, the words that have been dangling off the tip of your tongue finally burst out, like a dam that has crumbled in the face of his raw sincerity. "Or is it because your feelings for me extend past that of a captain and his crewmate?"

You've seen many sides of your captain, angry, cheerful, drunk and mad with worry, but it's the first time you've seen your captain truly stunned into silence, his mouth opening as if to say something, but then closing. His hand falls from your face as the two of you stare into each others' eyes, searching for something.