If You Met Me First | (COMPLETED)

Epilouge

'Now let's discuss about art and interpretation.' Laikynn announced to her college students tourist.

'During my college days, I used to appreciate and interpret an art but how do you really describe a painting? I learned that there are four process— first, you have to take time to look at the art work. Now, look at this art behind me,' Laikynn pointed the art next to her. 'Describe what you see in this work.'

She called one of her tourist and let the student describe what she can see in the art, 'A girl holding a balloon.'

'Right! The first thing we see is a girl holding a balloon but, try to go deeper, is she just holding it? Try to interpret and assign meaning to it.'

The students studied and observed the art. Silence covered the museum, 'Now you have to connect. Relate what you see in your own life.'

One of the student raised its hand, 'For me, it's about letting go.'

Laikynn smiled, 'That's right! This painting is about letting go and how you can get everything when you let go.'

'Huh?' the other student commented, 'How can you get everything when you let go? It's right to say that when you let go, you are about to lose the chance to be one person's everything. Why let go if you can hold on?'

'Well, that's what I've always thought,' Laikynn said, 'Gaya ng painting na ito, bakit ko nga naman papakawalan kung pwede ko naman kapitan? I was really scared of letting go because I might lose the chance to be with him forever.'

Laikynn stared at the painting, 'Imagine. You worked very hard to buy that balloon. You did everything in able for you to get it only to realised that no matter how significant it is to you, you have to release your grip on it. Tinanong ko sarili ko, you've asked yourself the same thing, bakit ko nga ba ito papakawalan? Di, ba? It's so sad to let go of something because you've invested so much just to get it. And I realised that at some point in your life, the process of letting go will make you feel so much regretful.'

'Let's say this balloon is your favorite person. And he wanted to be free from your grip, and you don't liked the idea but if he really matters to you, no matter how painful and tough it is to let go of him, you have to. Release your grip on him, baka kasi that grip is already frustrating him. It's not healthy anymore.'

'I've always thought that letting go is about losing. That it's a loss. But sometimes in life, you have to let go of something or someone, for you to realised that losing someone can also be winning. That maybe losing something is not a loss at all.'

'Hayaan mong mawala. Hayaan mong makaramdam ng laya. Hayaan mong lumigaya kahit hindi ikaw ang kasama. Dahan-dahan mong bitawan, pakawalan, hanggang sa tinatanaw mo na lang. Dahil may mga bagay na mahirap ipagpilitang manatili kung nakatadhanang kumawala sa iyong mga kamay.'

'Kapag napagdesisyunan mong umalis, maglakad palayo sakanya, pakiusap, huwag mong hayaan na mahila ka ulit niya pabalik sa inyong nakaraan. Dahil may mga alaalang hindi na dapat tambayan pa.

Because if you love someone who makes you love yourself less, don't just sit there and wait for them to leave. Buksan mo ang pintuan at sila ay pakawalan. Dahil kung gusto nitong manatili, hindi yan hahakbang palabas.'

'Tulad ng lobo na pinaghirapan mong makuha, iniyak-iyakan mo pa, darating ang panahon na magagawa mong ngumiti habang tinatanaw ang kanyang paglaya.'

Laikynn didn't even noticed that she was already crying at ang kanyang mga turista ay nakiluha rin, na para bang nararamdaman nila ang kanyang mga salita.

And for the last time, she thought of Benedict as the balloon that she had to let go.

She smiled sadly with tears in her eyes.

I guess. You will always be my heart's deepest wound.

The kind that aches dreadly.

The kind of scar that time could never heal.

At ang iyong mga alaala ay masakit at maligaya.

But I promised you,

That I would eventually learn to let go of you.

I may not be the first one that you met.

You may not learned to love me—

You will always be my favorite mistake.

You will always be the deviation of my life.

And maybe in another life,

— you and I would have worked.

But for the mean time, I am willing to accept that —

I cannot still you from somebody else.

Even if you met me first —

I knew you would never love me.

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THE END.

Thank you so much for reading this fan fiction for Jelly Lin Yun and Darren Wang. I hope you enjoyed it.

© k8audije

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