The Swap

Chapter 3 Ellie

I'm standing on the cement steps of the Riverside Sportsplex, my shin guards still on, my pink Thunderbirds soccer bag hanging from my shoulders. I'm sweaty and sticky and my hair is pulled back tight in a ponytail, like I always wear ir. I'm standing here waiting for my mom to get me, when Claire walks up. She's smiling, but only for a second.

"Hey," she says to me. "I just want to say, like, I'm really sorry to hear about everything that happened."

"Um, what do you mean?" I ask. I'm looking over Claire's shoulder and watching Sassy and Aspen skipping across the parking lot all the way to Sassy's mom's minivan. We have just finished the first day of tryouts for the Thunderbirds thriteen-and-under (13U) indoor travel team. Sassy and Aspen are leaning into each other, arms looped, and shrieking with laughter like they are in on some big joke that none of us are cool enough to possibly every get. Usually Sassy's mom gives me a ride too. But ever since Sassy's been acting like I don't exist, their car is suddenly "full." As in--"Oh, sorry,Ellie, we're, like..."

Sassy will pause to glance at Aspen, sharing an entire sentence without saying a word--"We're, like, yeah, we're not going straight home."

I turn back to Claire. She has a funny look on her face, and my heart starts to hurt right then. Right that second. It's so weird, isn't it? How your heart can hurt. How your heart sort of knows more than you.

"Oh, forget it, nothing." Claire looks at me as if she is embarrassed like she wasn't supposed to say anything. She quickly tries to change the subject. "Hey, so are you excited dor school tomorrow?"

"Wait, what were you going to say?" I spot my mom's car turning into the sportsplex and try to rush things. "You can tell me," I say. My voice sounds soft and in the gap of quietness I force a shaky smile.

"Oh, I guess, like...," Claire starts but stops herself.

I stand there.

I don't move.

My heart is pounding and my cheeks get really hot.

"Well, um... there's no easy way to tell you this." Claire looks at me uncomfortably as if she's warning me that she is really very sorry for what she's about to say. "I guess you didn't see the thing Sassy wrote on Facebook?"

I shake my head. I don't have facebook.

Neither of us speaks for a few seconds.

I glance over at my mom waving me toward the car and put ny finger up as if to say, "One sec."

"She said...uh..."

"You can tell me Claire please?" I am practically begging at this point.

"She said, um..." Claire pauses and looks around her as if she's scared of Sassy overhearing her even though Sassy is long gone. "She said,like, you..." Claire's voice trails off just as her ride pulls up. She back steps at first, before whirling around toward the car, then right before she opens the door she looks back over her shoulder. "Sorry" she mouths.

"Wait,Claire," I call after her. "What did she-"

But by then it is too late. Claire is already in the car with the door shut.

Six older boys burst out the front doors of the Sportsplex and practically plow me over because I am completely in the way. And I just stand there for a few seconds, kind of frozen and kind of shocked. I guess that's when it really hits me. Finally. I get it. I've been officially,unofficially, dropped.