Till We Pretend

Chapter Eight

But the envelope that Kyler had handed me before he left last week still taunted me from my bedside drawer. I'd hidden it there, away from the prying eyes of my mom. I didn't want her to worry, didn't want her to think that I was doing whatever I was doing just because of her. I was doing it for both of us. I saw how overworked she was, saw the freelancing gigs she took on the side to make what little money they offered and how she'd shelved her dream project for those little jobs. I knew she'd been thinking about taking a teaching job when she'd sworn that was the last thing she'd do. We'd been worrying about money for so long that it felt ridiculous to look away when an opportunity was literally knocking at my door.

"That's a lot of money." Ree whistled as I FaceTimed her later that evening. In the background I could see her mother frowning at me. Hard as I tried the woman really didn't like me, it could be due to the fact that my best friend used me as an excuse to go sneak out and meet boys ninety percent of the time.

"Could you be a little quiet." I hissed and not just because of Mrs. Mcpherson's increasingly curious gaze at the mention of money. I'd signed an NDA and yes I was most definitely violating a few terms by sharing some of this information with Ree and I'd rather her mother not get involved. She was known to be quite outspoken at the ladies' crochet club and I didn't want to be the topic of their latest scandal.

"Oops sorry," I see her get up from the couch and with a parting look at her mother's disapproving face, Ree walks into her room and closes the door behind her. "I can't promise you that she isn't standing with her ear pressed against the door but maybe if we whisper she won't find out."

I roll my eyes, "Maybe this is a bad idea, maybe I shouldn't..."

"Ells, sweetie look at yourself. You have bags the size of Clair Worthington's Louis Vuitton holdall's underneath your eyes, Carter told me how you snapped at a bunch of eight-year-old's at the diner and you haven't posted on Instagram in a week! Your life is a mess and you clearly need a shoulder to lean on so lean away."

In my defence those twins were being really annoying and thought playing tic tac toe with ketchup and mustard on the countertops would be a really good idea.

"It's just that I feel taking his money makes me feel...dirty. Maybe I should return the check." The thoughts whirled inside my head and I took the offending envelope out of nightstand. Kyler had handed it to me the last time I'd seen him. He'd done it discreetly, quietly after Julie and Harrison had gone and he'd managed to corner me in the kitchen.

"This is for you." He'd slipped a small, flat envelope in my hand that gave a good indication of what it contained. "I know we haven't exactly hashed out all the details in fine print but Julie will be in touch soon with all the paperwork. She'll probably want you to sign an NDA as well. I'm sorry for putting you through all this Ella, I really am but you'll be doing me a huge favour. If you agree to this, agree to what I'm proposing it could save my career."

And that amount could save my house.

"If you're signing up for what I think you're going to be signing up for then it's fair. I know you can't tell me much but Ells you deserve this, take it. You can't spend your entire life doing things for other people and not expecting anything in return."

Ree was the voice of reason in all of this but I still couldn't get rid of the feeling that when money became involved it cheapened my relationship with Kyler. So maybe calling it a relationship was a stretch. So far our standout moment included a kiss and a punch and that does not a connection make. Still I remembered those we few hours we spent together at his house as some of the most special moments in my life, when I'd been able to let loose and allow myself to share a part of me with a stranger. The fact that that stranger turned out to be a rising star from Hollywood is just my bad luck. I know I shouldn't think about the night we shared as anything more than a fluke on his end and loneliness on mine but sometimes when it gets a bit too quiet in my head I begin to wonder whether he thinks of me too, thinks of our conversation or that kiss.