The Gods of Song and Poetry

Chapter 46 - Welcome Back

I deflated. My dad was handling me with kid gloves, but he wasn't going to let me get away with causing problems at work.

"Alright," I acquiesced. "I'll start with the table saw area." Nobody ever wanted to sweep the large piles of sawdust that accumulated by the table saw over a shift. It was my way of telling him I was willing to do penance. He gathered me into a hug.

Such a small gesture, a hug. The thing is, my dad really isn't that affectionate, and he's downright sterile at work. Plus, this was the first time I could think of that someone had hugged me since Kelly left. I had done a fantastic job over the last month of pushing everyone away. The human contact caused emotion to well up in me. I broke the hug as soon as I could and put my earmuffs back on. I walked over to the equipment area and grabbed one of the large brooms and a snow shovel we used as a dust pan.

Angel: Why are you pushing people away? Your dad just wants to show you he cares.

Devil: He's the one defending Trent. Remember? That asshole trained us in copper and offered us overtime. Now he's bitching at our dad about it!

Angel: Language!

Devil: Go fuck yourself.

Angel: You've gotten nastier since we last talked.

Devil: Well, we learned that the world is a nastier place than we thought, didn't we?

Angel: We also learned how beautiful life could be.

Devil: All the beauty, it turns out, comes with an equal and opposite amount of pain.

Angel: Oh, we're a pessimist, now?

Devil: A realist.

Angel: So, a realist takes out their anger on innocents, like Trent, instead of looking out for their fellow man?

Devil: Do you have a fucking point?

Angel: Yes. If Kelly met you today, she would never have fallen in love with you. You are taking everything about yourself that she fell in love with and dismantling it.

Analee: DON'T! Do NOT make me cry at work.

Devil: See? This is why we have to push people away!

Angel: Fine. I'll drop it, but you need to pull that thought out again when you're alone and really look at it.

Analee: Fine!

Angel:

Devil:

Analee: Hey, um...

Devil: What?

Angel: Yes, Ani?

Analee: ...Welcome back.

I apologized to Trent and got his permission to punch out early. If I punched out a couple hours early every day for the rest of this week, I could cancel out the overtime I took yesterday. I was on my motorcycle heading home by lunch.

The day was hot, even for the beginning of July, and riding my bike felt good. I forced myself to try and enjoy the feeling. When I got home I peeked out the back window and saw Kristy, DJ, Rizzy, and Pixie in the pool. They must have heard my motorcycle pull in, but they didn't acknowledge my return. Why would they? For the last month I'd been actively avoiding everyone. I really wanted to reach out to them, to interact with people, but I knew they might ask how I was doing, and I didn't want that. For the last month I had only texted a few people, and then just to allay their fears and get them to stop asking about me. If I could be certain they would just talk about superficial, meaningless things, I'd join the girls in a heartbeat. The pool looked wonderfully cool.