BROKEN

chapter 1

What do you want out of your life?

It's funny how out of all these tattered flyers and graffiti that covers this billboard this catches my eye. The longer I stare at it the more I was taunted, and a wave of slow rising anger crept into my thoughts. Why the hell can't I answer this question, it shouldn't be hard.

Normal people dream to be successful, live the life of luxury, save the world, save themselves but me I'm drawing blanks. Is it my fault for not having an answer or can I blame my complicated upbringing? I guess being too busy learning how to survive a constant nightmare forced me to live in the now and worry about the future when It gets here.

"Heelloo Robin are you there, did you hear what I said?"

I jerked from the icy hand that landed on my naked shoulder and saw it was just my friend Donny.

"I'm sorry what were you saying?"

"Give the bouncer your id so we can get in woman,  Where did you go? I was calling you for like ten minutes."

I give him a look to let him know to stop exaggerating but when I look around were three feet further up and I don't even remember moving my legs, or even taking my eyes off that poster. Honestly, I forgot what I was doing but then the loud thumping bass from the door reminded me that we were outside of club genesis waiting in this long ass line.

I show the big burly looking man my id and hold my arms out ready for him to search me. He takes a quick look at it and slowly drags his eyes up and down my body like he's trying to memorize my curves.

"Your good to go."

I pout like I'm a little girl showing him my disappointment. "What you're not in the mood to strip-search me?"

The big man lets out a hearty laugh and passes me back my credentials.

"Maybe on your way out kitten." He winks at me and lets us in.

***I fucking hate that name.**** 

Today is New Year's Eve and the club is full to brim with people making resolutions on how much they are going to shed their ugly skin and change everything about them. Tomorrow they will become this new person, Yeah right.

Do you really think that your past could be erased just like that? Or do you even think that everyone else forgot that 24 hours ago you weren't a piece of shit then? I know who I am, and sitting at time square freezing my ass off just to watch a big shiny ball drop is not going to make me less damaged. plus I'm not stupid New York is too cold for that.

So, we opt out of the touristy things and created our own traditions. Just consuming large amounts of alcohol to aid with the dark thoughts and filling the void with sex, and for the past seven years, we have accomplished just that.

We push past the crowd and finally reach the bar and Donny waves down the bartender and he pours us a row of tequila shots. Donny passes me a glass and starts to give me a drum roll. I take that as my cue and I quickly take the shot. I slap my chest to help ease the burn and to stop the hairs from growing in.

"That's my girl, my turn."
We take our shots back and forth like champions. After my fifth or maybe the sixth one I can feel a slight tingle creep through my veins and my body begins to feel lighter. I sway back and forth to the pumping music letting it take over me. I love feeling this way, no responsibilities or stress just the music coursing through me. I look to see my best mate make eye contact with a cute brunette with big tits across the bar, watching her get all gushy and giggly with her friends makes me laugh.

Don't get me wrong I can understand why she would blush, Donny's one hot piece of meat. He has a jaw that was chiseled by the gods, light Hazel eyes and dimples you could eat out. Oh, and did I mention that he has the body of an Abercrombie model.
Shit, I can't lie, sometimes I have to catch myself from ogling and letting a little drool come down the side of my lip, because deep down I know he's worth more to me than quick fuck or a strained relationship.