"Do you remember visiting Vince?"
"No."
"Do you remember what he said to you?"
"No."
"He said you needed help."
"Oh."
"Do you think you need help?"
"No."
"Do you even remember what happened to Razzle?"
"No. What happened to Razzle?"
"Lola..."
"Dude, what the fuck happened to Razzle?!"
No matter how many times she hears it, it doesn't feel real. She saw him yesterday... It was yesterday, wasn't it?
"I don't want her in the house! I don't want her in the fucking house! I don't want her near our goddamn daughter, Vince!" Sharise is close to tears when Lola knocks on the door at two in the morning. Lola's swaying and unfocused and blabbering something about Razzle.
"Sharise?" Lola finally asks weakly, and the blonde's furious gaze turns on the strung-out assistant. Vince is on the stairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"Get the fuck off of my property," Sharise tells her, and Lola's lip wobbles, "haven't we gone through enough? Vince is fucking sober, finally Skylar has her father back; don't ruin this for us."
"How is she?" Lola's voice is quiet, but Sharise doesn't let her guard down.
"None of your business Lola, come back when you're sober."
Here is the moment something inside of Lola breaks; the world shifts, like one of the endings in her choose-your-own-adventure of a life had been ripped from the pages. Here is the moment Lola realises that Vince is no longer hers, no matter how much she still loves him. She'd given him to Sharise, but she'd never really let go, not entirely.
Razzle's dead, Vince has a family, and Lola has to let them go.
No more asking after Razzle time and again, getting her heart crushed each time she learns a truth she'd tried to bury in the back of her mind.
"You need help," Sharise tells her, quietly angry before she shuts the door, and Lola doesn't have the willpower to fight the scream that rises in her throat, sick and tired of hearing the same damn phrase over and over again. Sharise threatens to call the cops through the door.
Years later, when asked about 1985, Lola will only remember one thing.
Not technically fired, Lola's in as shit of a state as the rest of the band, spinning their wheels and spending money on the record label's time. Doc won't talk to her, Zutaut thinks she's a waste of money, and Tommy can barely stand to be in the same room as her.
But then there's a light, an angel, who walks in stilettos, wears her feathered hair and sundress like she's about to meet someone's upstanding parents; Nicole, the devil in disguise.
Nicole's an actress, up-and-coming, not that Lola cares. All Lola remembers is the way Nicole had looked at her, like she was the embodiment of everything her management team warned her about, and smiled. Lola remembers 'there's this thing I've been wanting to try' in Nicole's gentle mezzo of a voice, remembers needles, and taking Nicole's shaking hands, and 'it's okay, baby' will spill easily from her lips. Nicole, who's always been on the straight and narrow, will trust Lola's firm grip, will trust when Lola says 'not yet, not right away' and her sharp smile. She'll let Lola give her cocktails of drugs, but won't let her jump straight into injecting smack.
YOU ARE READING
Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx | The Dirt}
Fanfiction" the girl is crafty like ice is cold. " Nikki and Lola met before they were Nikki and Lola, before Motley Crue, before they were even eighteen; they were just two shitty teenagers, looking to escape their shitty childhoods. So together they turn in...
