Paper Plane

Prologue

"Let's start the session."

Ms. Lim assisted me to lie on the chair in a white room.

"Close your eyes."

I did as I was told. I never thought I could muster my courage and sit right here.

"Take deep breaths."

The scariest thing about being a psychology major?

Assessing your own emotions.

Because you are the one who's more aware of yourself better than anyone.

"Slowly breathe in air~

then breathe out."

But I've learned that's just an illusion. Humans thought they know themselves the best, but it's not always the case.

We have repressed memories we are not aware that actually exist. And one way to approach them is through hypnosis.

"Now focus your mind on your lower abdomen."

I know everyone wouldn't agree with the idea of awakening bottled emotions, like opening a Pandora's box. That's why people are afraid to take counselling. They thought if they do, they'd be considered as crazy.

"Take on air as much as you can, hold, then slowly release it."

But that's not true. We should cater to our mental health because these repressed emotions can affect our daily lives. And by making the unconscious conscious, we are to find ways to treat them.

"Now you will feel the strength in your body vanishing. And you're slowly relaxing."

When I was a kid, I was a fool to believe that life is all about rainbows and unicorns. I would always play all day like a madman and care less of the world.

"Your body is now in a state of peace."

"You are now going to go back to your childhood one year at a time."

"Now you are 4 years old.

Where are you?"

"I'm in the playground."

"What are you doing?"

I remember the time I'm running around the neighborhood and twist my feet on invisible humps.

"I-i'm crying.."

"Where's your mom?"

I find myself bawling but I had to stop halfway. Everyone seems to be busy adulting which the young me had no idea about.

"I don't know... "

Realizing that no one could comfort me, I had to lift myself up, dry my tears and go back to running again.

"Slowly, you are turning into six."

I have gone to every corners of our neighborhood, met a lot of friends, and play until my mom would pick me up and scold me on our way home. But I didn't mind.

"Who are you with?"

My two bestest friends, whom I considered as my sisters, we were inseparable. They are biological sisters and I was like their bunso.

"My friends, we are playing doll house."

There are days they would fight and I had to be in the middle, they would ask me who I love more and I would tell them I can't choose coz they're both the best and things like that. Eventually they would let it go and just hug me. They felt more like a family to me than my real family that I almost forgot I don't live in their house.

"Now you are getting older by one year."

I can see myself in white dress, my grandparents are coming home. I'm waiting on the front door and sing them the same love song I could ever memorize in exchange of a few coins.

I saw myself eating cookies at granny's home across from us. I'd be the happiest if she would weave me a pretty dress. Even though there is an annoying brat in their house, I still go there.

I was happy and carefree. I didn't care what other people would think of me as much as I am able express myself. That's what kids are supposed to feel right?

"What year are now?"

"A-aro..und 9... Or 10 ?"

I don't know what happened...

"Where are you?"

"I don't know... It's dark.. "

Everything is peach black. I tried to open my eyes wider, searching for any bits of light.

Suddenly, I felt an incoming wave, slowly choking my neck.

"I ca -n't br -ea.t he... "

I desperately gasped for air. I felt like drowning...

I paddled my arms and feet. Trying to swim to the surface. . .

But a scream erupted from my mouth.  I felt a searing pain. I turned to my feet and found myself bleeding from the metal chain...

It is made of thorns. I tried to remove it..

Pulling my feet until I was only left with a mouthful of air..

I focused again on paddling my arms trying to break the chain...

Until it occurred to me.

I'm not drowning in a deep water.

This is an illusion of my mind.

The silence and darkness, they started to feel comforting.

All the pain begin to numb. From the wound on my feet to my breathless lungs.

I can hear the loud beating of my heart, pounding and pounding. . .

I'm slowly getting used to it. .

I closed my eyes, everything began to settle steadily.

I can hear a heavy breathing. I don't know where it comes from..

This nirvana... I'm about to give in but-

"Momo!"

"Hoy wake up!"

"Don't die on my face!"

-

A/N: You have been warned and you are still here. Thank you.