A Christmas Family (A New Adult Sweet Romance)

Chapter 16

She pulled back from him slightly, to gauge his reaction. Glazed, hooded eyes, filled with affection, maybe even love, looked back at her. She nuzzled into the warmth of his neck and he tucked her in close. "So you know, it's not all bad, Joseph was too young to remember, so he doesn't have any sense of loss, and financially, Holly and he are set. But you know a lot now, everything," Eric pulled her in. "Yeah. Thanks for telling me, sweetheart." He let the endearment out without thinking about it.
"Joseph's old enough to remember things now, and he knows that his dad is dead but that's it and I don't wanna let him down." He tipped his chin, resting it on her head.
"You know what? This is exactly what I want to talk to you about." He felt her tense up. "You're a real aunt now, maybe more." Noelle swallowed hard, throat locked up tighter than a safe. "Yeah."
Where was he going with this?
"There's a lot of responsibility with that." Oh no. Not this again.
"Yeah, I know. Temporarily at least." His eyes narrowed, and she shifted off of his lap, and back into her chair, looking at him.
"What do you mean?" His eyes flicked to a spot beyond her shoulder.
"What do you mean what do I mean? It's not like I'm his mom." She was getting defensive, not wanting to listen his holier-than-thou lecture on parenting and responsibilities and life adjustments.
"So you're planning to make adjustments?" There it was.
"Something like that." She pushed a stand of her hair back out of her face with a distracted hand.
"Something like that?" She swallowed sandpaper, a bitter taste forming in her mouth.
"Yeah, something like that, Eric." She crossed her arms, feeling heat bubble up in her. "Maybe Holly will want to bring him up a little bit more often now, but it's not really gonna be up to me."
"You could go down sometimes too?" Noelle felt her mouth dry and a flash of heat went to her face. "Listen Eric, I don't really need to be told how I should behave with Joseph, I'm not you and Joseph isn't Rudolph, we will never be like you guys are." Noelle couldn't understand why she was getting so angry. Maybe she was picking a fight because it was going too well, and she needed to sabotage.
"I'm not the parent you are Eric, I never will be and it won't matter how hard I try,"
"I'm not his parent Noelle. Please remember my sister died, I had to learn how to do this too." He said quietly and
she immediately softened.
"Eric I know I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...." she trailed off.
"You're doing a great job. Joseph thinks so too. We all see what you're doing. You're way ahead of where I was. You've been with Joseph only a few days, I was weeks maybe months with Rude before I got to this point. He's really happy. And actually, I have been really happy too this last little while. You make me happy. And I hope that I've made you happy too-" It was Eric's  turn to trail off, and Noel had no idea how to respond, so he went on.
"But you  realise he's your nephew right? And for the last few weeks, he's basically been your son. Not some Facebook friend that you rekindled a conversation with five years after high school." Why was she getting angry? Wasn't she getting this? It was so simple? "I don't really get how you can be so nonchalant about this. About him."
"What do you want me to do Eric?" Her voice turned to ice. "Should I ask Holly to move in with her so that I can win world's best aunt, which apparently only you can award?"
"No, no, you're not getting the point."
"Then tell me the point."
"Look, I just wanted to make sure you understand how he sees this now. What you are to him now."
"It's like you're suggesting that I'm gonna disappear or something. It'll just go back to what they were a few weeks ago. What's wrong with that?"
"He might want more."
"Then we'll figure it out, I just don't know why you think this is any of your business. We're never gonna turn into you and Rudy if that's what you think." Eric flinched.
"That's not what I meant. I'm just saying that you might have to put his needs in front of yours, that's what you do."
"I've had enough of this crap. I don't know what you want from me." She was nearly shouting, and then there was silence.
"I don't either." Eric nearly whispered, "I can't speak for Joseph, but Rudolph would love us to be in some rom-com where the mom and solo dad get married and live happily ever after. One big, happy family. Maybe that's what I want too."
"You know that would never work."
"Then where do we go from here?" He asked her. Dealing with Eric in social situations as a 'friend', potentially watching other women hit on him, is that what she wanted? That made her upset, and even worse, it made her feel lonely. She turned away, looking out the window, her head exploding with possible answers, but all she could get out was a single word. "Nowhere."
"Oh." She saw the look of hurt and surprise twitch across his face. "Ok then," He stood up and crossed to where he had left his scarf, fumbling as he wound it around his neck, avoiding her eyes. She hadn't moved from her seat, was still staring at the ground. "Rudolph!" He called down the hallway. "Time to go buddy," The boys showed up a moment later.
"We'll see you for Joseph's birthday party?" Noell finally moved to the door, without looking at Eric, pasting a grimace on her face for Rudolph's sake.
"You bet!" He said back. Out they went.