13: The Beauty Of Fear

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If you can be anything, what would you be? I don't think, what you are right now is what you want to be. I couldn't say I understand because that wouldn't be fair to anybody. But I do know the feeling of striving to be something your not.

I thought for the longest time, I wanted to be an author.  But I never had the courage to pick up a pen. You see courage can get you far, because I found the only thing that held me back was -simply put-  myself.

Being afraid of the unknown, is truly terrifying. But it can also be used as fire-fuel for the something you want to become.

When I was little I wanted to be famous, for the popularity, because I was lonely.  But as I grew older I felt as though I didn't believe anybody would want me as someone to look up to. Eventually I stopped dreaming of walking into a stage and hearing people screaming for me. And I started to dream of ways, I could die.

And then it wasn't till I was fifteen, I decided I'd rather be nobody and have a voice. I decided I wanted to affect the lives of others, for the good. I knew that being a widely known influencer could change thousands- if not millions, of lives. But I still had the fear of walking onto that stage and showing the world who i was, for i believed I was imperfect.

It wasn't till this year, that I stepped up and auditioned. I still had my doubts, but I picked my self up and used my fear to conquer my dream. I went into that room believing that I wouldn't be wanted, let alone accepted.  It wasn't till I got the call that producers were interested in taking me, that it completely changed the way I  viewed myself.

You see the reason I struggled is because i believed that every human was perfect. It's taken me a long time to even Express this in words.  But I've realized, that is what sets you up for failure.

No human on earth, is perfect. No job is perfect, no celebrity is perfect, so why did I believe that I'd be perfect? I don't know. But like that little girl who dreamed of becoming somebody, I have chosen to make that dream come true.

And so the message to you is: Not a single thing is perfect, and learning to embrace your fear is the thing that will push you to what you dream of becoming.  But before you do that, you have to heal to become stronger, because facing the truth is harder than facing your fear.

-The Beauty Of Fear

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