Together in Darkness- Moved to AO3

Chapter 36

Y/N POV

Why did I have two missed calls? Was she okay? I won't lie the further away I get from the hospital the more the tension inside builds. But it's not tension, not really. It's guilt. Guilt that I've left him behind.

I just need to get out of this headspace. I pull my phone out my pocket and dial voicemail on loudspeaker to hear Sofia's message.

You have one new message... "Y/N?"

Why does she sound like she's been crying?

"Y/N I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want for it to happen. I was completely taken by surprise. Please just pick up your phone. Or please come to mine just so that I can explain. We bumped into him on the way home and we just got talking about old times and he kissed me. But I didn't want to kiss him Y/N. Please talk to me, I just want to explain. I'm so sorry"

If I didn't already feel like I'd been kicked in the stomach, I do now. Why does this bother me? We have been out once and kissed a few times but that's it. It shouldn't bother me, she's free to do whatever she wants with whoever. But of course I know why. Because I'm stupid and actually believed she may like me the way I do her. God I can't even admit it to myself can I?

I don't just like this girl. She has me falling head over heals for her and there's nothing I can do about it. But I have to stop because she clearly doesn't feel the same. How can she?

And why am I still driving to her house? Because I'm stupid and feel utterly lost in all this mess without her that's why.

Pulling over on the curb outside her house, I check my face in the rear view mirror...god I look like death. Just another reason Sofia won't like me. I looked over to her door, steadying my sudden onset of nerves to try and go and see her. To just tell her I'm sorry for not answering when she needed me. To just say sorry.

Man up Y/N jeez. I need to pull myself together. Ugh that's it's. I open the car door, just as she happens to open her door....and then that's it. Whatever was left inside me has just completely shattered. I guess he got their first.

I guess he's the guy that kissed her. And now he's the one leaving her house hugging her too.

Sofia POV

How could this happen? How did I let this happen? Ok yes we have only been on one date but I already knew. I already knew from the moment he kissed me the first time that I wanted Y/N. He's the guy that I have fallen for. God I'm pathetic. It's ridiculous right? But I guess if you know then you know? I feel gross and disgusting, and yes it may sound over reacting but I didn't want to kiss him and I never gave him a reason to think that I did. It's not okay.

"Will you please chill out. God I thought I came here for a relaxing afternoon, not watch you have a melt down over kissing your ex. Who is looking rather fit today if you ask me"  Becca smirks from laying on my bed. I stop pacing just to stare at her in disbelief. She's meant to be my friend, not telling me how she finds my ex boyfriend good looking.

"Becca there's a reasons he's an ex. I know it's hard for you but please try to muster up some form of compassion in that air head of yours" I snap.

God I'm a bitch. I shouldn't have said that to her. "Look I'm sorry okay, I just don't like this. You wouldn't understand" and I'm right she wouldn't. She knows that we broke up because he cheated but she doesn't know everything and honestly it just hurts she's not on my side. But how can she be if I hadn't told her the full story. I sat down on the edge of the bed avoiding her now death stare. "It wasn't just that he cheated. I trusted him and he hurt me, and I just don't want to be back in that place that he put me in. Thinking I wasn't good enough" I really don't know how to tell her what happened but when I look up and see her looking at me with a face of utter confusion I know I have to tell her. "He tried to make me sleep with him Becca. And when I said no that's when he cheated on me. He did it because I wouldn't sleep with him". I know I shouldn't feel to blame but I do. I feel ashamed at how I still can't think about this without crying. Ugh, now I'm sad and ugly with make up running down my face. Great.