Together in Darkness- Moved to AO3

Chapter 23

Y/N POV

I stopped off and got coffee for me and mum on the way to the hospital. She met me outside and we walked down to Jacobs room. When I got there he was awake but he was so dosed up on painkillers that he wasn't really doing anything other than cuddling his teddy. When I walked in he looked up and smiled at me, but I could tell he was too tired to sit up. I felt my heart hurt at the sight of him like that. I'm so used to just running around and playing games with him I never really saw just how weak he really is. You can see his bones now he's so tiny where he hasn't been able to eat properly and the dark circles round his eyes show how tired he really is. He sleeps sos much but I guess the pain is still having an effect on his body. I smiled back at him, not wanting him to get upset and went and sat in the chair next to him.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" I whispered to him as I sat down. The smile from his face vanished instead replaced by a look confusion. He began to raise his arm and touched my face but quickly let his arm fall back down. I realised that he was looking at the cuts on my face. Not wanting to scare him, I knew just what to say to cheer him up. "I'm ok pal, only got myself in another fight with the Loki didn't I? He heard that hulk had gone for a sleep and left superman all by himself so he tried to come and take over our cave. I couldn't let him do that could I?" I said winking at him. Jacob loved super heroes, his favourite is Hulk. He used to jump around the bed and sofas pretending to hit things. He told me that I was superman because that is his next favourite and we would spend hours running round the garden and the house playing, pretending to fight off these bad guys. It is his favourite game ever. I looked back at him and he smiled and tried to wink back at me, making me and mum laugh as he could never quite manage to do it. He always ended up blinking instead. Mums came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, looking down at us both.

"Yes indeed, and I have to say, superman is doing a wonderful job at keeping your cave safe Jacob. All he has to do now is learn how to keep it tidy" she said, making Jacob laugh quietly. The happiness was short lived as Jacob began to cough, causing him to wince at the pain and lose his breath. Mum quickly tried to sit him up and gave him a few sips of water before he laid back down again. I looked over at mum as she was tucking Jacobs covers back in, stroking his head and soothing him to calm him down. She caught me looking and gave me a small strained smile but I knew she didn't mean it. She was just as worried as the rest of us. I carried on looking at her and that's when I started to realise just what the stress was doing to her. My mum is not uptight, but when it came to her appearance she always said that dressing smart made you feel better about yourself. Her usual glossy blond waves were now tide back in an unkempt bun. When I was little I sued to think she looked like Rapunzel with her long blond hair and she always used to call me and Jacob her little knights. She has always looked young for her age, many not believing that she had a teenage son, but now for the first time ever I saw the age on her face. The small wrinkles that had appeared in between her eyebrows and down the sides of her mouth from the constant frowning or stress that was on her face. It was making her just as tired too. I sighed inwardly, not wanting her to hear the defeat I felt. I had let her down. Again. I stood up and went to get her to sit down in the chair, Jacob now sleeping again soundly.

"Mum why don't you go to sleep for a bit? I'll stay here still, but at least get some rest. I'll wake you if Jacob needs anything" I said trying to sound reassuring. But she just smiled at me as she sat and shook her head.

"I thought I was the parent Y/N. I'm fine sweetie I'd like to spend some time with you too. It's been a while since we sat and had a talk. I miss having that with you. I know that is my fault for not making the time for you with everything that has happened, but there is no time like the present. Me and your father are worried about you too Y/N. We know that this is tough for you and we just worry that you keep ignoring your own feelings for the sake of others. We are all here to look after each other dear, you do not have to always look after everyone". She took my hand in hers and looked at me with a questioning look. I opened my mouth to say something but I realised I didn't have anything to say. So I just closed it again and nodded. Truth is, I didn't know how to tell people what I felt. I couldn't tell my mum that I always felt angry all the time because of the way that people treated Jacob and our family. Because she just tells me to ignore it. I can't tell her that I hate sleeping because of the same recurring dream that I have waking me each night in pools of sweat. I'm not a kid anymore and I needed to stop being so reliant on them. My mum and dad had done everything for me and Jacob as kids, especially when my real dad came back. That caused me so much trouble that my mum would be sat up with me every night because I was scared that he would come back. They had sacrificed so much for both of us and now I needed to start looking after her now. She sensed that I wasn't going to say anything else, because she then decided to change the subject. So in true mum style, she bought the subject round to the one thing she knew she could get conversation over. Sofia.