The CEO and Fate✔️

Chapter 27

I nodded, pained. "You're right. And I've regretted it since," I said. "I think I was scared to tell you and have it break what we had."

"Did you really think what we had was that fragile?"

"I didn't want to find out."

Blake's gaze dropped from mine. Out of guilt or discomfort, I couldn't tell. But we were both fidgeting. An anxiety that couldn't be helped.

I tried to look at the skyline. But not for its physical beauty. But for what it meant to me. For what it represented even in the gloomy rain. Because, to me, those lights that never dimmed told me that nothing was predestined. They showed me that the obstacles of my past could become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. 

Blake took my hand, surprising me. It forced me to finally meet his eyes.

"Can you tell me something honestly?" He asked.

I didn't even hesitate. "Of course."

He looked at me, but it still felt distant. He still was lost to me. "After everything this summer, is there anything from your past that still feels unfinished?"

I blinked. "Are you asking for my well-being or your own?"

"Just answer the question."

I frowned. "I went to San Diego to escape the reminders of what happened. Wether it was in the form of places, people, or even memories, I wanted nothing to do with any of it. And when I finally left, I convinced myself I was coming here as a new person who had escaped that misery."

"You were the survivor?"

"A victim. At least, I thought," I mumbled. "It was foolish, I know. I think all of these years have gone by, and I wanted to play the victim instead of owning up to my fear and immaturity. I used it to keep myself from being there for you and loving you the way you deserved."

He didn't react. I bet if I touched him, he was cool as ice, while I was aflame with my emotions.

"To answer your question," I said, "without this summer, I wouldn't have confronted my past. I would've gone on thinking that somehow the universe wronged me. But now, I know that I can never let that incident weigh me down. I won't let it."

Blake silently registered my words. We both comprehend the weight of them. I was finally owning up to the pain I had caused him, and now it was his turn to tell me if something had changed.

"We can't cling to the past," he agreed. "Because no matter how tightly we hold on, it's already gone. And I've been searching for one thing, searching, searching for what I really want in life, but I think I've discovered something else entirely."

"What's that?"

"Myself," he answered. "You were right when you told me that I couldn't let the past make me cruel. I have no one to blame my mistakes on but myself, but that doesn't mean I need to lose myself to them."

I nodded in agreement. "I think this summer was inevitable. Life was consuming us without the closure we never got. And because of it, we've learned a lot."

He watched me closely. "What have you learned?"

"Besides the obvious?" I sighed. "I learned that my immaturity came from my selfishness, which I still have a little of even now. And that honesty is much more valuable."