The Complexity of a Perfect Date

Complexity of Trust

"It's not like that..." She tried to defend herself but she couldn't, or she didn't know how.

He just smirked when he saw her reaction.

"It shows. Bukod sa mababa ang tiwala mo sa sarili mo, it's like you also lack self esteem. You pointed out how big the gap are in your social status and his social status. I personally don't think that social status are important in some relationships, or it shouldn't be the main concern. But in your case, it's like you're dwelling in that thought. Na yung status mo, hindi matched sa kanya."

A tear escapes her eye. "You don't know how it feels like to look small kapag kasama ko sya." Her voice shaking. "Do you know how I felt noong inalok nya kaming mag live in?"

He smiled when she saw her shed tears.

"Alam ko namang sinabi nya yun kasi gusto nya magkasama kami, but somehow, a voice shouted in my head na sinasabi "Inaalok ka lang nya kasi ayaw nyang gumagastos ka sa apartment mo. Inaalala nya lang yung social status mo." Do you know how low I felt noong naisip ko yun?" She said in a low voice as she tried to wipe her tears.

"He just tried to show how he loves you. You're both adults and I think you know what you were doing. Living together didn't seem bad. But in-interpret mo yung ginawa nya as an act of pity. He wanted the best for you but you thought he was pitying you. Those thoughts can destroy bonds in a short time. He loves you. And he did those things out of love, not of pity. But I guess that's not how you think of it."

"Stop. Please." She said as she covered her face with her hands and slumped on the table.

"You were used in denying pity from others, that you mistook his love for pity and drove him away, well, this time."

She wiped her tears and looked at him. "I love him." She firmly said.

"You do?" He asked.

"I just... K-kasi ambilis ng relationship namin eh. You know, parang hindi ako sanay sa ganito. Hindi ba kapag minamadali ang relationship, hindi maganda yun? I don't want that. Mahal ko sya." She reasoned.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" He asked her and she just nodded briefly.

"You're afraid to lose him, because you're afraid to lose someone who sincerely cares for you. Someone who understands you." He told her and she just nodded again with tears.

"Sino namang hindi diba? Alagang alaga nya ako. And I try my best to do the same to him, but masyado talaga akong nabibilisan."

He smiled but then later shook his head. "Dear, you were also superior. And that's not good."

"I am not!" She defended herself. 

He just smiled sadly. "Kung mahal mo sya, dapat inintindi mo yung mga actions nya. You knew that he loves you, but still, you still act like that. Are you using him?"

She glared at him. "What the hell are you saying?" She scowled but not loud to attract attention. "What I wanted was a steady relationship, yung hindi minamadali. But no, hindi nya muna inalam yung side ko. He could've taken my opinion first. Alam nya na hindi madali para sa akin ito." 

He just snickered. "Opinion mo na gusto mong masunod lagi. Miss, iba ang opinion lang sa opinion talaga. Akala mo opinion mo lang, pero di mo nakikita he's been following your opinions like orders."