The Complexity of a Perfect Date

Complexity of Trust

He didn't mind how long she was talking, he can see that her frustration is being let out.

"So anyway, last week dinala nya ako sa parents nya ng hindi man lang ako sinasabihan and guess what? Muntik akong himatayin doon. The meeting was amazing, naging close kami ng parents nya but I wasn't happy na hindi man lang nya ako sinabihan or kinuha opinyon ko. Nasabi ko naman na noon na hindi pa ako handa, but nakakainis kasi!

Then after that, gusto nya daw mag live in kami! What the heck?! Ano ba yung hindi malinaw sa "ayaw kong nagmamadali tayo, let's take it slow" na sinabi ko. And since tinutulungan ko yung family ko kaya nagwo-work ako dito, nagalit sya kasi nag spare ako ng ilang oras para sa work ko today. Ang aga nga namin dito sa park eh! Tapos pinipilit nya nanaman akong mag live in daw kami. Nakakainis!" 

She did felt lighter as she finished ranting. She was calming down after that and one thought crossed his mind and he immediately told the woman about it.

"I don't think you love him."He told the woman, surprising her and raising one of her eyebrows at him. Now what?

"I do." She firmly said and frowned. 

"And you pity yourself." He added.

It's as if her heart broke as she nodded when he said that. It's true, she pitied herself in their relationship, but she's afraid to accept it because she wouldn't want Tate to overthink it. It's her problem, therefore, she must face it. She didn't want Tate to think that he had shortcomings on their relationship for her to feel that.

The guy continued talking. "You think his actions are act of pity." 

She snickered. "Baliw ka ba? Saan naman yung pity doon? Bakit ko kakaawaan yung sarili ko sa ginagawa nya?" 

He just smirked when he heard the denial in her voice.

"Don't you feel pity? How he initiated those things maybe because he knew that you were too afraid to do those things." 

She glared at him. "Are you mocking me?" She said, anger can be heard faintly in her voice.

"Hindi naman sa ganun. But it shows." He told her.

She raised one of her eyebrow. "Alin?"

"I think that, you think you love him but you actually like the feeling of being important." He told her taking her aback. She wanted to speak and defend herself but for some reason, she couldn't. "You want to be in a relationship with him but you only want your opinion to be followed, not minding how he feels." He added.

She felt a lump in her throat but she fought it back and took a deep breath. That's not true.

"That's not true."

"Sorry, that came out harsh." He said and chuckled. "Let me rephrase that. You like the idea of being in love, because it makes you feel special. But when someone is in love with you, you realize that it has a lot of shortcomings and you think na kasalanan mo yung mga pagkukulang na yun. That's why you want your pace to be follow, and you think that he's just fine with it because he loves you."

"Stop..." She said in her shaking and low voice. But the guy just continued talking.

"I know it hurts to accept it, but that's life. That's what our mind does, actually. Akala natin ganito yung nararamdaman natin pero hindi pala." He said in a relaxed voice.