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D: I think I'm getting better at this
D: I didn't even stab him
W: And we are so proud of you
W: No-stabbing Wednesday
W: New tradition
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D: How much do souls cost?
D: I feel like I need one of those
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D: Dude get your fucking flashlight out of my face I can't see shit
D: I don't care if "my eyes are glowing" and "humans can't do that", turn off your fucking torch and stop screaming you idiot
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D: Stitch a pocket large enough for several books, a spindle, spare slippers, a loaf of bread, and your dignity
W: Good sir I only own four of those things
D: You may, if desired, replace whatever you lack with more bread
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D: Being gay isn't my only personality trait but i do credit it as the main influence behind most of my decisions
====
D: Its NO-vember
D: Don't ask me for shit
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W: Oh fuck yes it's dnd night tonight
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D: What do you mean i looked “disappointed” to see you when i answered the door?
D: It's not like i was hoping you'd be a tall, sexy vampire come to steal me away back to their big gothic castle in the mountains or anything
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D: All I do is listen to music really loudly while I walk in circles and daydream :/
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W: Evil board games for fucked up and vindictive people
D: Monopoly
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W: Witch who's trying to cut me off on the I-290: *rolls down window and casts a curse*
W: Me (ate vitamin gummies this morning): lmao nice try Baba Yaga
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D: *says nothing but takes a large gulp of my drink while raising my eyebrows*
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W: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise
D: What
W: Lmayo
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W: Currently creating a flowchart of which of my mutuals hate which of my other mutuals like they're opposing british royal bloodlines and its developing into a 4 dimensional cube
W: I take out a map of the world and place pins where every mutual of mine lives and start connecting the ones that hate each other with string
W: All the strings intersect over a village in France and I break into a warehouse in that village
W: Theres a big cork notice board in the middle of it with a blueprint hung on it that reads "how we're going to kill the gay idiot" with a really ugly picture of me attached to it
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D: >Go to Dracula's castle
D: >He has a humidifier
D: >Pour two liter of holy water into it
D: >Leave
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W: What?
W: It's hardly my fault that all the ladies find my farmer's market vendor of the year award irresistible
====
D: [Picture]
D: Evil wizard placing a curse on me after i pickpocketed his coin purse at the enchanted market
W: Why were you in the evil wizard market
D: Why don't you mind your own fucking business
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D: Might just ghost everyone and call it a year.
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W: Repressed gay cowboy when their shared room at the inn only has one bed: this bed ain't big enough for the both of us
W: Their love interest: not with that attitude, pardner
W: Cowboy: pardner…
D: And they were saloonmates
R: Oh my god they were saloonmates
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D: I prefer old gods and moss
====
W: *Pulls a spirit box out of my pocket* any hot singles in my area tonight?
====
W: The slogan for Campbell's soup in the 80’s was just “Soup is Good Food” and I wanna meet the young hotshot pussy destroyer who came up with that one
====
D: Of course i'm insecure I can't even turn into a swarm of bats
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W: Yes honey your evil laugh is utterly diabolical and will definitely strike terror into the hearts of all your enemies now will you please come to bed
====
W: I can never predict how weird I am going to be in a given situation and this is my cross to bear
====
D: What's "lab safety"?
D: If I'm going to be a scientist I am gonna look CUTE
D: If I get radiation poisoning that's on ME
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D: Whoever came up with gargoyles is an underrated genius
D: "You know what would make this beautiful, probably haunted and home to a vampire or several gothic looking buildings look even more sexy and cool? Some uhhhhhh giant stone monsters on the roof lol"
D: Fucking legend
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W: The X-men r like "magneto please do not kill this evil person" nd magneto says that he won't and 15 minutes later he kills the person in full view of everyone just for the drama
D: That’s just how gay people are
====
D: How many horrible live action movies will it take for people to realize that animation is the best medium to have fantasy creatures because when everything is animated your suspension of disbelief works better
W: Actually the second best way to have fantasy creatures is to put Doug Jones into a bunch of prosthetics so that’s a strong argument for live action movies
D: There’s only one Doug Jones tho
W: You are right that poses a problem
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W: I still can’t believe renaissance fairs are real
W: It’s like anime expo for fans of the black plague
R: Have you ever actually been to one or are you just basing this on that episode of family guy
W: The implication that i’ve ever seen an episode of family guy in my life is worse than all the medieval insults that have been thrown at me so far
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W: That urge to climb the rooftop of your house
W: Where does it come from
D: The gargoyle instinct
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D: Why do men think catcalling is a compliment
D: If they really wanted to make me feel good about myself they would cower in fear and cry out in terror as I descended upon their homes and towns in all my horrible glory
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YOU ARE READING
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
FanfictionD- Dick W- Wally R- Roy This book is to give a look into the average conversation of teenage superheros and average rich kid problems (Contains birdflash, swearing, major gay, etc.) If you don't like it than what are you even doing here?
