tw: self-harm, pills, suicide mention
summary: tony talks to peter about how he can help him stop.
word count: 2189
Everything inside of Peter was begging him to pull away... to pull away, stop crying, go get his suit... anything he could to stop being loved. Because he didn't deserve it. He was worthless, hopeless, and there was no part of him that deserved the father's love Tony was showing him right now. But he couldn't push it away. It felt too good, it felt too safe, it felt too different than anything he'd felt in so long, and he couldn't let go of it.
So he sobbed into Tony's shoulder, clinging to him with a desperation he was ashamed of but unable to hold back. And Tony just held him tighter, responding to his desperation with a quiet presence that wasn't going anywhere.
"That's right," he murmured softly. "You're okay. I got you."
When the boy's sobbing had been reduced to sniffling, his mentor stepped back, keeping both hands on his shoulders and dipping his chin a little to catch Peter's downturned eyes.
"You ready to hear me out now?" he asked gently.
Feeling shame creep back over him like a disease, but unable to fight the sincerity in the man's face any longer, Peter nodded.
"I am not mad," the billionaire reiterated evenly. "I am not taking your suit away. I understand what you're going through. I just want you to let me help you. Okay?"
"Mr. Stark," Peter whispered. "You don't have to do that. I... I'll be fine."
Tony sighed. "Pete, you're not fine. People who are fine don't hurt themselves. But there is nothing wrong with you, and you are worth letting someone help you."
"To who?" He didn't mean for the words to come out, but they did anyway, desolately, broken.
Though his eyes were still fixated on the carpet under their feet, Peter could feel the sadness in his mentor's gaze.
"To me, Peter," he told him quietly. "To your aunt, your best friend. To the entire city."
"None of them would feel that way if they knew what I did," the teen countered softly.
Tony shook his head a little, squeezing Peter's shoulder. "Well I know what you do, Kiddo. And I..." He hesitated, swallowing hard. "I love you anyway."
Peter's eyes snapped up to his without him meaning for them to. Desperately, he searched the man's face for the lie, for any part of him that didn't mean what he just said, but all he could see was heartbroken sincerity.
He squeezed his eyes shut against it, shaking his head as new tears welled behind his eyes. "I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark."
"You know what though?" Tony asked gently. "Something that Pepper's taught me. You don't get to decide whether you're worth someone caring about. They do."
"But I..." The teen choked. "I..."
"You're sixteen, and you've been through more than most adults ever will. There's no shame in not knowing how to deal with that. And it's not something you can do alone."
"I..."
"Peter," Tony said quietly, "you can't talk me out of caring about you."
Peter kept his head down, silent tears sliding down his face because he simply couldn't comprehend what his mentor was saying to him. Finally, because he couldn't argue with him any longer, he asked the question that had been torturing him since he woke up in the hospital room.
