Chapter Twenty-Two

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Sweat glistened on Cole's skin as they lay wrapped in each other's arms. The blankets, sheets, and pillows didn't make it and were scattered across the floor. Cole stretched out and grabbed a pillow for Tess to lay her head on.

"You're beautiful," he whispered and kissed the tip of her nose.

Heat rose up her neck to her cheeks.

"But we need to talk," he continued.

"Now?" Her heart thundered in her chest. Nothing good ever started with, we need to talk.

He smiled reassuringly at her. "Yes now. Before any more misunderstandings or anything else gets in the way."

"Alright." She rolled onto her side to face him.

"I want you to know I still want this with you. I want us to be a family. I want the biggest, pinkest wedding you've ever seen. I want to watch you walk down the aisle looking like a gorgeous puffy meringue. I want to know you are walking toward me, I want a life with you."

"Cole I—" He placed his fingers on her lips.

"I want to get this out. Please."

The urgency in his voice had her swallow back her words. So she nodded for him to keep going.

"Before you agree or disagree with this, you need to know about my accident." He looked down at the bed and picked some fluff from the mattress.

"I don't care about that Cole, the scars ar—"

He furrowed his brow at her. "What did I say?"

"Ok, you want to get this out. Fine." She tilted her jaw. She hated being shooshed but really wanted to know what he was going to say. So she allowed him to win this round.

"I was riding a horse. Near our spot. I was thinking about you, wondering where I went wrong. The pain was just too much. I wanted the speed of the wind to whip away all thoughts of you, all of the hurt. So I kicked into the side of the horse and we took off, he ran and ran so fast, further into the woods. I still had control when we ran past a campsite.

A small yapping dog came darting out of a tent and ran towards the horse. Barking and growling. The sudden noise in the otherwise quiet woods startled the horse. It reared up, and I get yanked half out of my saddle as it landed. It galloped off through the woods, this way and that. Suddenly stopping dead and throwing me from its back, directly into a tree. I hit the tree with so much force I pretty much bounced off and rolled back to the front of the horse. It reared up again and came down hard with its hooves. The last thing I remember was seeing the bottom of the shoe coming towards my head. Then I blacked out."

"How did they find you?" She asked. Trying to hold back her tears. She rubbed her hand along the side of his face.

He frowned as if trying to recall an event he knew he had no memory of. "I'm not sure exactly. I think I was left there for a while and eventually, the campers came looking to see what happened. I guess they called an ambulance."

"I'm sorry Cole. It must have been awfully frightening."

"I really don't remember, I'm not even sure if I regained consciousness while I was in the woods or not. The very next thing I remember was waking up from surgery with my mother at my bed."

"How scary. Have they tried to fill in the blanks for you?" Tess asked.

"Yes, but that isn't the important part Tess. It's what's happened after the accident that might affect you." He stopped and looked hesitant to continue.

"Me? How does it affect me?"

He smiled at her but it wasn't a smile of joy, it was one full of fear and sadness. His eyes blinked back what looked like tears. "I... I can't have children anymore."

"Oh, God. No. Cole." She practically knocked him backward, wrapping him in her arms.

"Freddy's it. My one and only." He sobbed into her shoulder.

"It's almost like fate has stepped in to give you our blessed Freddy." She stroked his hair.

When he calmed down, he cleared his throat. "I just didn't want you to think..." He trailed off.

"You thought I would think you only want me because I have your only child?"

"Yes and the only child that will carry the Washington name forward to the next generation. He is very important to my family Tess. To our heritage. But don't for a minute think that's what this." He pointed from him to her. "Is about."

She sat for a minute. Quietly contemplating his words. Sorting through them. She could see why someone would think that, but she believed him. He loved her. She knew it. She could see it and feel it and it was real. With or without Freddy. The way his eyes twinkled and the skin of his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink whenever he saw her. The way he always rushed to her, no matter what a pain in the ass she'd been.

"I know." She said finally.

His eyebrows flew up in surprise. "You do?"

"I always have. I guess the hurt just tried to smother it. I was scared, but now I'm tired. I love you, you love me and there's nothing standing in our way except our own stupidity."

"Wow. Okay then. But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Don't you want more children?" He got up, picked the sheet up from the floor and threw it to her.

"Of course. But I want you and our family more. Besides, there are plenty of darling children out there that are dying for a good home. We could adopt." She smiled as she wrapped the sheet around herself.

"You'd be okay with that?" He asked.

He seemed to be in a permanent state of shock since they'd started talking.

"If you had felt what I felt during childbirth, you wouldn't even have to ask. I am more than happy to never go through that again."

Cole smiled at her, it started as a tug at the corner of his mouth and slowly spread across his face till he was beaming. A small sound came from the room next door. Fussing and nuzzling. Freddy was awake. Cole pulled on her fluffy dressing gown and did a quick twirl before breezing out of the room. He returned a few seconds later with a little red-faced baby in his arms. Freddy was doing the little snorting thing he did when he was hungry. Shaking his head from side to side looking for his breakfast. Cole placed him in Tess's arms.

"Here you go. I think he only wants mommy at this point." Cole said. "I'll go get us some breakfast and when I return, I want you to eat and then sleep for a few hours. I'll look after this little rock star."  

Tess smoothed Freddy's hair. "Come on little guy have your breakfast so mamma can sneak a shower before daddy gets back." Freddy's wrinkly face frowned up at her. One eye open and one closed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be awake or not. "Only a month old and already living the rock star life. Up all night drinking and sleeping all day. I see how you roll little man."

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