Stuck || BMC Boyf Riends

A Pity Party

I was in the stall the furthest away from the door. Tears began to flow out of my eyes. I let them. Nobody was in here anyway. I was making this way too big of a deal though. At least Jeremy and I were still best friends. My memories lurked to the night of Jake's Halloween party. A night I tried so hard to forget. I took my phone out of my pocket, staring at the lock screen. A picture of Jeremy and I at the arcade a while back. We were playing Pac-Man, of course. I smiled, tears still falling freely off my face, bouncing onto the screen. I wiped them off and put my phone back in my pocket.

Why did things have to be this way? Why couldn't my feelings for Jeremy be platonic as they should be? Why did I have to be gay at all? I began to think about the time I realized my thing for Jeremy. I had invited him over to my house one Saturday night. We were playing video games in my basement, the usual. Jere and I shared a beanbag, and around the time of 2 am, he began to fall asleep. He laid his head on my shoulder and put his hand on my chest. His legs scrunched up off the floor, and he sighed as he dozed off. I was frozen, and blushing hard. Why? Why was I reacting this way? It was then that it occurred to me that maybe I was enjoying this more than a normal friend should.

I put my head in my hands, trying to be quieter with my whimpers. I then heard the bathroom door swing open.

"Michael?" I voice called out, "Michael, are you in here?"

I realized it was Jeremy. Oh shit, he couldn't see me like this. I was a mess. Though, I was honestly filled with glee and relief that Jeremy still had the heart to check up on me. I decided to not open up the door.

"In here~" I muttered.

Jeremy walked to the front of the stall. "Are you okay, man? You seem a little off today... Did we spend too much time texting last night?" he asked, stifling a giggle.

I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to fling open the door. I wanted to tackle him and press his lips against mine. I wanted to... t-to... I sighed, trying to not continue crying.

"I-I'm just a little overwhelmed, Jere. You know how it is. Darn social anxiety," I said, forcing a laugh.
Jeremy still did not seem pleased. "Well, um... Okay... Come out when you are ready, Micha. You know I am always here for you. "

I heard him slowly retreat out of the restroom, and slowed my breathing. Lunch would be over in a flash if I didn't get back there. But I also didn't want to draw attention to myself. All in all, I decided the best decision was to hide in the stall until the bell rang.

When the bell rang, I scurried out of the bathroom, trying to blend in with the crowd of kids coming out of lunch. Now I just needed to finish the rest of the day, and I could get home and be free from my worries. At least... most of them.

The rest of my periods went as slow as watching paint dry, but I managed. When I arrived back at home, I was again drenched in sweat, so I threw off my hoodie onto my bed, having just a black tank top under. I jumped onto my swivel chair, spinning to my desk. I had a lot of homework tonight. I started to play some tunes while I got to work on my math assignment. I was halfway through, when my music stopped, notifying me of a text. It was Jeremy. I tried to hide the goofy grin on my face.

"How are u doin now?" the text read.

I opened my phone, starting to respond. "I'm good, no big deal" I sent.

I tried to continue doing my work, but now I couldn't take my eyes off my phone, waiting for a response from Jeremy. Sure enough, he responded within a few seconds.

"That's good. wondering if you wanted to come to the party the squad is having next week. We were talking about it at lunch. I know u don't really like parties and it's late notice but we would really like it if you came. Besides its only going to be our friends. "

I started at the text for a while. I wasn't sure of what my response should be. Parties did not bring back any good memories, but this would be a great time to bond with my other friends and start to feel more comfortable around them. I started to text back, my fingers trembling.

"Sure" I simply replied, "srry I have to go now. Lots of homework. Ttyl"

I started playing my music again, trying to get back on track, but no matter what I did, I couldn't take my mind off Jeremy.