No More Lonely Nights - A Fan Fiction

No More Lonely Nights - Chapter Forty-Two

February 14, 1964.

Miami, Florida.

PAUL: This is the most depressing Valentine's Day of all time. Seriously. What a lovely day- not. Thank goodness we don't have anything to do until later this afternoon- I didn't even get out of the bed until after one. The others tried to get me to come down to the beach but I told them to go away. I spent the rest of the time before our rehearsal for our second appearance on Ed Sullivan (on the 16th) writing letters and smoking one cigarette after another. I told you I only smoke when I'm distressed...

I still can't get over what I saw the other night. John and Kyle screwing each other as if it was perfectly fine for a very married John to be having sex with our photographer. I've always wondered about them since the day Kyle was hired. They've always given each other the eye, and I guess John took advantage of his wife not being around to finally sleep with Kyle. No wonder he had no qualms about suggesting that I cheat on my girlfriend while I'm over here. I wish he had better morals but I suppose that won't ever happen. Ringo and George and I at least know the meaning of the word "devotion" where our girlfriends are concerned and we're aren't even married to them! Sometimes I just really don't understand John.

We're supposed to go to this idiotic photoshoot at some American millionaire's house because apparently Brian thinks the fangirls would love to see us sitting around the pool in tight shorts and no shirts. He can forget it, I'm not taking off my clothes and putting on something deemed sexy so girls can drool over me. I'll keep on my jeans and my t-shirt, thank you very much. The others said the same (though Ringo said he wanted to get IN the pool and would gladly wear a towel for the photoshoot), much to Brian's chagrin but he's outnumbered four to one here. I dragged myself out of my room and away from my pen and paper when George came knocking, reluctantly, naturally, but I didn't exactly have a choice.

The minute we got to said mansion (whoever owned it was away on holiday and apparently Brian paid the family a pretty nice sum to let us use it for a bit), Ringo and John jumped straight in the pool for a bit before we actually got started taking photos. George and I stretched out in the lounge chairs, preferring to stay in the warm sunshine instead. I will admit, Florida is a very lovely place. It is certainly sunny; I'd forgotten what the sun looked like over the Liverpool winter, really. It's easy to do that back home, as it seems to be perpetually grey until about April. Coming home with a bit of a tan sounds appealing at the moment.

"Managing all right?" George asked as we relaxed in the deck chairs. John and Ringo were flinging water in each other's faces and screaming literal bloody murder as they did so. George looked over at me, and I saw concern stamped on his face. I sighed. "I'm okay, I guess," I said. "Oh, never mind, I'm not okay. It's Valentine's Day, George, come on. I won't be home for eight days. I'm being driven up the wall."

"I know, I think we all are, save for John. He's very much at ease."

I thought about what I had seen taking place between John and Kyle the other night and what I had seen since- hand holding, kissing, fondling when they thought no one saw them doing any of those things. Was John just losing his mind? I thought of my own beloved girlfriend back home and how devastated and hurt she would be if I even so much as batted an eye at another woman in a seductive manner. How could a person claim to love someone else and then show the same forms of affection to another person? I didn't get it, but maybe I simply put more effort and thought into these things than others did. "John's always at ease," I said. I couldn't tell George what all I had been seeing lately. Not now, anyway.

"You do know Delilah is moving back to Liverpool with me, didn't you?" George asked. "She's getting ready to do so now. We're meeting her in New York when we get there on the 21st to transfer to our flight back home. I never thought this would ever happen, but it is."

"I'm happy for you," I replied. And I was. George deserved this. He'd waited patiently long enough. He should finally have his happiness.

I was thankful when the day was over, when the photoshoot ended and rehearsal wrapped. I was finally able to retreat back to my room, lock myself in, shower, and then pick up the phone. The moment I had been waiting for all day. I entered her number and listened to the ringing on the other end before the sound was abruptly silenced. And then nothing.


ALLIE: My mother disconnected my phone right as it began ringing earlier. Granted, it was seven in the morning and that might be early under normal circumstances, but why did she jerk the whole thing right out of the wall? Never mind, I know why.

"You're not talking to him," was her curt explanation when I asked why she had disconnected my phone. "You really need to get over your obsession with him, honestly. It's absolutely insane."

I didn't respond. Why bother? I also noticed, upon further inspection, that the cord connecting to the phone jack had been neatly severed. I couldn't plug it back in regardless. I sat down on the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands. Why did it have to be this way? I missed Paul so much that there was a fiery ache in my chest, and now I couldn't even hear his voice over the phone unless I went over to Vi's or Megan's, but that would probably be too obvious to my mother. I might have to do it, though. What choice did I have? I reached for my coat and purse. I'd go to Vi's and try to call him and tell him what was going on.


PAUL: I was woken out of a dead sleep to the sound of my phone ringing, and I reached out and picked it up, still in a slumber-induced daze. "Hello?" I managed, my tongue barely able to form words in its still-asleep state.

"Paul? Did I wake you up?" Allie. I found myself even more awake at the sound of her voice. "No, love, it's all right. Don't worry about it. What happened with your phone earlier?"

"That's what I was calling to tell you. I'm at Vi's now. My mother cut the cord. I can't even use it at the moment."

"She WHAT?" I was a bit taken aback at that bit of information. "Did she do it because of me?"

"Yes. She said I don't need to talk to you and that I am obsessed with you," she replied. "I have to hear your voice! I love getting the letters, but they just aren't the same as hearing you talk to me!" She was getting more and more agitated with each passing moment. "I'm so tired of this! I still have one week till you come home and now I can't even call you! This is ridiculous. Do you have anything else after the second appearance on Ed Sullivan tomorrow?"

"No." I knew what she was getting at, and I wanted that too, even though I doubted I could pull it off.
"Is there any way you can come home then?" she asked, her voice pleading. "Please, is there any way at all you can just leave then and be home?"

I sighed. "I doubt it, love. You know Brian isn't going to go for that at all."

Allie was silent for a long moment. "I know he isn't, but I just wish he would let you. Why you have to keep staying I don't understand."

"You know Brian, for publicity, most likely. The longer he keeps us in the spotlight, the more money he makes. I think John is the only one who doesn't really care if we come home early or not." Of course John didn't care. He was enjoying being away from his wife and kid, back living the life he always had lived prior to getting married. He was enjoying sleeping with Kyle and getting away with it. If the others knew, they were keeping quiet about it. "I'll ask Brian, but I know what he'll say. I have things to say to him anyway, believe me."


ALLIE: I'm grateful to Vi for letting me use her phone at eight in the morning. I hated to ask but I figured she wouldn't care.

"Are you ever going to come back to class?" she asked me as we sat in the kitchen drinking tea and eating scones. "I haven't told anyone you're home but really, you should go to class. It'll take your mind off things."

"Or I'll be too distracted and fail it all."

"Oh stop being such a pessimist all the time. It won't get you anywhere. You're going to have to just accept that you can't be stuck to Paul like Velcro all the time. I had to realize that with Ringo, tough as it was to accept. You think I like being here by myself while he's in America? No, but I can't always be moaning and groaning about it. I'm sorry, Allie, but you're just going to have to get over it." Vi's words were resolute as always, and I knew she was right, but still...

"I know, but it's very difficult. You don't have the family situation I have, either. Your mother is a pill but at least she has never attempted to force you and Ringo apart. Be thankful for that, Vi."

"I know, but please, try to see the bright side of this. They'll be home in one week. Yes, I miss Ringo very much and I wish he was here, but I can't let myself get depressed over it. I have to just say to myself he'll be home soon and then go about my day. It's harsh to do to myself but I have to. It's the only way I can function. I will say, though, your mother cutting the phone cord is a bit extreme. You can use my phone when I'm not using it, just come over. What about your mail?"

"It's going to Megan's," I replied. "I couldn't risk it getting tossed out or burned or something."

Vi gestured to a stack of postcards on the counter. "I hear you on mail. Ringo thought I'd like to collect the postcards. There's about eighty in that stack. He's not one for long, prose-filled letters, really."

I nodded. I couldn't see Ringo writing rapturous love letters myself. He's a bit too practical for that sort of thing. "Well, I'd best be going now. Thanks for letting me use the phone."

"You're welcome. Try to lighten up, okay? One more week."


PAUL: Our performance on the show is over (enjoyed working with Ed again, about the best thing that has gone on so far), and I think I'll attempt to talk to Brian and see if I can get cut loose from this little holiday. What more do we need to do over here? We're through with performances, and I don't fancy lounging around Miami for the next five days. How excruciatingly boring.

I found Brian in his room, lounging in a chair by the window with his budget book, no doubt figuring up how much he was making off us. "I need to talk to you," I said, my voice determined. I didn't usually take on a strong turn with Brian, but I had to this time if I expected to get anything out of him.

"What is it, Paul?" He sounded slightly annoyed at being dragged from his land of numbers and money to listen to me.

"Can I go home tomorrow? I mean, why do I need to stay? What's the point? We're done performing, really. I don't much want to be hanging around here for the next five days. It wouldn't kill you to cut me loose, you know."

"Absolutely not!" Brian sounded appalled that I would even venture to ask such a question. "What would I tell the papers? That you ran home to be with your girlfriend? It's bad enough the press knows about John's marriage and your rock-solid relationship with that girl of yours. What would I say if you went home to be with her five days before we're scheduled to leave? I can't afford it, Paul, I would be losing too much."

"Who cares about the money? Is that all you think about? Can't you think about our needs, our wants? I want to be home. Damn it, Brian, I just want to go home! We all do! It's like we're prisoners here now that our shows are over."

"You'll just have to get over it. It won't kill you to be here five more days."

This was ridiculous. I never got anywhere when talking to Epstein. It was like shouting at a brick wall. "I'll tell you something else," I began, my tone edged with a hard anger I didn't even know I had in me. "Next time you drag us off on an extended tour, I won't be by myself. Allie will come with me, and if you don't like it, I'll personally dismiss you as our manager. The others will back me up, I can already guarantee it. Do you even know what this has been like for me? I can't stand the thought of her being back over there alone, what with her family situation. Not that you know anything about that, you have never cared to find out. I shouldn't have to talk to her over the phone every single night only to have her break down crying because she wants me and I can't be with her. Ringo and George will tell you the same thing." I didn't say John would. I think we all know John is a bit more of a wanderer in his relationships than we other three are (he's proving that quite nicely). "So just know that right now. You won't be able to do anything about it. If you value your job and the money you make off us, you'll not argue with me."

I didn't wait for a response from Brian. I simply turned around and left the room, slamming the door so hard as I left that a picure hanging on the wall in the hall fell and shattered on the hardwood at my feet. I didn't exactly care, either.