Thy Neighbor II: Lovin' The Crew

Chapter Five

U City Coffee is located on 3902 Walnut Street. What feels like such an innocuous address turns into something deeper when Y'lan realizes that U City Coffee used be Commonwealth Coffee, the place where he'd meet Ciara every morning for caffeinated libations when things were beautiful between them. He wonders whether she chose this place on purpose to spite him– or if God orchestrated this to be the place for their first conversation in order for Y'lan to feel some conviction about what happened. Truth be told, he's tired of all that. Meeting with Ciara feels like redemption. Finally.

The black wooden high table that Ciara and Y'lan would meet each other every morning was gone, replaced with long granite tables for more a communal feel. Y'lan orders his latte – and what he hopes is still Ciara's usual of vanilla ice coffee with two extra pumps – and awaits her arrival.

When Ciara finally released herself from her embarrassment-laden stupor, she noticed Trevante's text. Though she so desperately wanted to see him, work comes first. For the first time since they began dating, Ciara finds a backbone. A backbone named Y'lan.

Ciara didn't realize that she offered to meet Y'lan at their old watering hole until she hops off the trolley in front of the coffee shop. She swears to herself that it isn't intentional. Her spirit is telling her otherwise. Ciara's revengeful tick is alive and real.

As she walks in, she gives a quick hug to Ms. Velma, the owner of the coffee house. A barrel of a Polish woman, she'd always let Ciara stay an hour or two after closing to work on her schoolwork in exchange for Ciara spending twenty minutes or so of those after hours reading to Velma's granddaughter, to hold her attention as Velma cleaned up. Ms. Velma always joked that she wanted "big curly haired babies with sunkissed skin" for her nephew. Ciara and him went on a date at Velma's behest but it didn't quite work out. Ms. Velma blamed her nephew for that.

Y'lan watches Ciara as she navigates the maze of tables to find him. He's still not over her walk. Lighting crashes from her hips everytime she takes a step. Y'lan will forever love watching it.

As Ciara approaches their table, Y'lan stands up as if to hug her. Feeling as if he hasn't earned back that privilege, he pulls out her chair like a gentleman. Ciara smiles in return.

"Thank you, Y'lan, for meeting on super short notice. I didn't know if I'd be able to anytime this week."

"No, this was perfect. Tomorrow is an office day at Proverbs so I don't have to be in really early."

"What time do you usually have to be there?"

"Me? Four."

"Sheesh. Wow. You hate mornings."

Y'lan trails off as he hears Ciara reminisce about how cranky he could be in the morning. He couldn't believe Ciara remembers his early mornings attitudes. Ciara can't either. She thought she purged enough of Y'lan from her memory. Sitting in this coffeehouse is triggering a lot of thoughts and they're not all clean, at least for Ciara.

Y'lan still carries his football player build – with some subtle softness added to his midsection. The mix of caramel and chocolate that is his skin, his bright teeth – Y'lan did not play fair.

"Vanilla ice coffee, still?" Y'lan slides over Ciara's drink, hoping to get it right.

"Yep! You got the two extra pumps, right?" Y'lan nods in approval as he grabs his notebook. Ciara grabs her laptop from her bag. That Wu-Tang Clan sticker Y'lan got her for her birthday is still on it. Y'lan notices it and fails to contain his smile.

"So what's going on at Proverbs? How can we help?"

"Midterms are killing us. We lose commitments from volunteers all the time. I think because we're across the river, students don't always want to travel that early. And we're in Camden, so you already know the deal."

"Midterms are killing us too. But we do work with a seminary in Cherry Hill. Let me reach out to them to see if they're interested."

"Ciara, you're saving my life right now. You have no idea."

Ciara loves what she hears.

"Whoa, let me get your some bodies first...." Ciara says through a laugh, "... before you etch that in stone."

"Appreciate you for even trying."

"Of course! In the meantime, I'm a part of a listserv. Let me give you the email address so you can post your need. You might be able to find some help in the meantime."

As Ciara goes to grab Y'lan notebook and pen to write down that email address, she notices that Y'lan isn't wearing a wedding band. Why would Y'lan take his band off before meeting up with her? As Ciara writes down the email, he notices that Ciara hasn't yet apologized for last night. Why is she acting as if she didn't ask him to come over?

"Thanks, Ciara. This could stop the older ladies from my church from volunteering their daughters to come work..."

"I'm sure your wife doesn't like that, huh?"

Y'lan remembers that Ciara thinks he's married. Y'lan had no strength left to correct her assumption after their conversation at Proverbs. He feels like it's now is the time to correct the record.

"Ciara, I'm not married. I never got married. She broke off our engagement because I was too much a damn mess to get married to anyone."

Ciara's back taps her chair. She feels foolish for insinuating that Y'lan is married plus stupid for letting her assumption turn her into such an emotional mess, a mess that crawled into Trevante's arms that night. That now feels bittersweet since her and Trevante were on the verge of being together.

"I'm sorry, Y'lan."

"Don't be. If I owe an apology to anyone, it's you." Y'lan continues tapping into his confessing spirit. "I wasn't honest with you about where I was in my life. When we met, I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart, I should say. And instead of being honest with either of you, I tried to play both of you. And I lost both of you."

Ciara uses her ice coffee to cool down the heat suddenly rising inside of her chest. For Y'lan to confirm her suspicion that she was not the only one sends Ciara's emotions into a tailspin. But oddly, she feels relieved to know the truth. No more guesses, no more expecting the worst, no more racking her brain about who she needs to kill. Her target is sitting right in front of her. But in a moment where she could – and should – let him have it, she decides to impart some grace.

"I appreciate your apology, Y'lan. Truly. It takes a lot to admit that."

"I was wrong to disappear on you too. I was too embarrassed to say anything. As soon as I left, me and her got engaged but it didn't last. She saw right through my bullshit."

"Y'lan, man. We have more coffee dates. You don't have to spill all of your tea at once."

"We do?"

A smile graces Y'lan's face at the thought of spending more time with Ciara. Ciara realizes what she said and instantly has regrets. She doesn't want for Y'lan to think that they can start all over. She still has to process what she's heard first. But as Y'lan cracks that smile that she fell in love with, she couldn't help thinking back to those mornings in Commonwealth, at that high table, when Y'lan would smile at her and her body would feel every emotion known to creation. She's feeling those things right now – especially since Y'lan isn't going home to a wife.

It leads her to look into his eyes. He matches her energy, staring through her soul. Silence engulfs them as the flood of curiosity and lust Y'lan first felt when he met her at that speaker series two years ago suddenly overpowers his being. He thought he lost her for good but now she's sitting right here, forgiving — and attainable.

As for Ciara, what she always felt after Y'lan would leave her house, feelings full of sensual angst that she would exorcise from her body with the help of some batteries, hits her like a ton of cinderblocks.

They simultaneously inhaled the energy from two years ago. They wonder who would exhale first.

Ciara exhales once she notices Trevante walking toward their table.