Millions of thoughts were flitting through my head and in that moment, I felt like I was on the brink of something forbidden. Something wonderful and amazing and terribly off limits.
"J-Jen?"
"Shhh..."
She was looking at me through half lidded eyes and believe me when I say that I wanted nothing more than to just look away, stomp down on whatever emotions this was awakening in me and just leave it at that. Simple enough. But no. Obviously that didn't happen.
Thanks a lot universe, you bitch.
As I was laying on top of her, our bodies intertwined and flush against one another, I felt my heart race so fast I was sure it would've won at least three or four gold medals in the Olympics.
Yes, I have no idea how the Olympics work. Don't shame me.
"How are you so pretty, Rosie?" Jennie whispered and she looked genuinely confused, like she expected a serious answer.
"Probably because you're drunk out of your mind." I muttered, making sure to keep my face as far away from her as possible without actually straining my neck.
"No. No it's...it's something else." I felt one of her hands slowly travel upwards and cup my cheek, and the other gently gripped my waist. "You're so..."
And then she kissed me.
She kissed me and I didn't know what to do and a thousand alarms were ringing in my head and a million more were yelling at me to stop but I was frozen. Jennie held me in place with her soft hand on my cheek and I was crumbling. She started moving her lips and I danced along with her.
Gosh, her lips were so soft it felt like it could melt away at any moment if I wasn't careful enough. So I was careful. I was tender and gentle and so was she.
We kissed for what felt like hours until I felt Jennie's hand in my hair and her tongue in my mouth and I finally realized how messed up this was.
How utterly wrong.
I quickly broke the kiss and scrambled away and out of bed.
Jennie just laid there, staring up at my ceiling before saying in a quiet, broken voice. "I don't think I love him anymore, Rosie."
And then she suddenly sat upright with her hand over her mouth.
Oh no, not on my bed please. Came the voice of my one coherent braincell.
She threw herself out of my bed and went past me into the bathroom.
I stood there for a moment, listening to her retch her guts out. I wanted to go in and help but I couldn't make my body move.
After a few seconds of standing and thinking and contemplating, I came to the solid decision that there was no way in hell I was gonna let whatever just happened ruin our friendship. Jennie was most likely not gonna remember what happened and I wasn't gonna remind her.
Everything will be okay. Everything will be normal. I reassured myself.
And so that's how it all began.
*
*
*
The next day, there was a tearful reunion in my living room as Kai profusely apologized for whatever he said and Jennie, after teasing him for a good while, decided to forgive him.
And because they're a pair of assholes, they had the audacity to start making out right in front of me.
The internal conflict within me as I watched all of this unfold was unbelievable. As I watched them make out (not in a creepy kind of way, but in a Guys What The Fuck I'm Right Here kind of way) , one part of my brain was fawning over how cute they were while the other was just chanting 'that should be me' over and over again.
And I Wanna Be Your Favourite Girl
Start from the beginning
