Up by St. Cloud

The Lake

The warm summer breeze flew through my hair and I closed my eyes, relishing in the last moments in the lake by the family cabin. Life seemed to be better when I was up here. Everything was calm, I could hear my thoughts, and my heartbeat was as clear to me as the singing of the birds.

I couldn't believe summer was coming to an end, it seemed like it had just started a week ago, but here I was, standing in front of the lake, saying goodbye to this part of my life, the one I actually enjoyed. I could hear the voice of my brother in my head: "Why are you so upset? We'll be back next year" and he was right, we were always back. Just like some families had poker night or pizza on Saturday nights, this place was our tradition. We were always here for the summer, come rain or thunder, this was our place. My place to run away to.

Family was always complicated though, it wasn't always happy up here, but it was always a pleasure to come back. I remember last year when we came for summer, the lake was still and the breeze was heavier than in the past years, it was the hotter summer to record but that was not the reason I was feeling like everything had changed. It was always the 5 of us in the cabin, mom, dad, my older brother Jason, me, and my twin brother Jack. Except that summer. It was only 4 of us in the cabin, and it would be 4 from then on.

I tried not to think about it for that summer, just as I tried no to think about it this summer, but it was always in the back of my mind; family traditions only worked when we were all together, but the accident had taken my twin, and just like that, the tradition would never be a tradition again. Summer was coming to an end though, and there was nothing we could do about it. That's what I repeated to myself as I gathered my bags and went downstairs to put them in the car. Dad was already checking everything, making sure we had gas and taking care of the house. Mom was in the kitchen, making sandwiches for the trip and making sure we were all packed up for the trip. Jason must've been in his room, hiding his stash in his backpack or getting some last minute sleep. He had been specially quiet this summer, only talking when he was talked to and leaving super early in the morning to God knows where.

"Did you pack everything, sweetie?" asked mom, she had been on edge all morning, getting to the lake was always easy, it was leaving that was the hard part.

"Yea, I finished packing last night." That was a lie, I never unpacked when we came two months ago, I had left my bag in a corner of the room, only taking out some clothes to sleep in, and my laptop and charger. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there was no point in unpacking if Jack wasn't here.

After an hour of my mom running around and freaking out over our suitcases and the food, we all settled into my dad's SUV, falling into a tense silence. Right around this time, Jack would be asking for the AUX cord so he could play some Coldplay, it was his favorite band and my favorite band by default.

We shared everything, from food to feelings, I always knew when he was in pain, lying, sad, you name it. I was his diary and he was mine. As far as twins go, we were inseparable, wherever I went, he was right by me and vice versa. I think that was was hurt me the most, losing him meant losing half of me, and eventually, losing myself. Because I didn't have my twin with me, I turned to books and actual journals, and one by one I filled them up.

I put my headphones on and enjoyed the ride. From the lake to New York it was a trip of around 10 hours. The cabin was up in Quebec, Canada but we lived in the busiest city in the USA, which was a little hard when you wanted to escape.

Nobody talked through the car ride, we couldn't bear to hear our own voices, at least that what i told myself after my mom quietly handed out the sandwiches about 4 hours into the ride.

The view was amazing, when given the opportunity to buy a summer house, my parents decided not to build in The Hamptons, although that was what was expected of them, one of the most successful architects in the country and his wife, the CEO of her own publishing company. They built their dream home hidden up in Quebec, near a small lake. And that was how the tradition started, after Jason was born, they decided to bring him up to the mountains, year after year, after year.

Jack and I were born in Quebec too, after a happy summer in the cabin, her water broke almost a month earlier than expected and Jack and I were born in a small clinic on the way to NYC. Jack and Juliette St. Cloud, but Julie for Jack. Only for him.

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Hey! My name is Elle and this is my first story! Let me know what you think and if you like the idea!