𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝙼𝚎 (𝙽𝚘𝚝) - 𝚉𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢

chapter xviii.

Over the next few days, Harry gets a clearer picture of how his life looked like before his accident. Having two kids is quite busy, with drop-offs and pick-ups and meals to be made and toys everywhere. But the busy rhythm of it all isn't unpleasant. Harry actually likes it and starts to identify with who he was, who he should be. He FaceTimes Jeff and Niall, texts a few other friends and that aids a lot with that, with basically getting to know himself again.

When the kids are at camp during the day, it gives him and Zayn a bit more time to collect all the important info Harry needs to function normally like before. Zayn thinks it's a bit of an overkill, especially Harry's notebook but nonetheless, he's supportive. So sneakily without the kids knowing, Harry relearns all about their favourite foods, toys and Peppa the Pig. These are things he should know, Sadie and Noah expect him to know. He and Zayn don't talk that much about their past. Harry feels a bit embarrassed to ask about such crucial details about their relationship. They still haven't even started kissing normally. Sure, Harry sleeps in their bedroom again and they hold onto each other at night, but the most he'll get out of Zayn is a chaste peck on the lips if he's lucky. It's like they were in their early teens again. But Harry doesn't push it. They'll get back to where they were, it'll just take time.

He and Zayn also focus a bit on their work, with Harry trying to learn all about his patients and Zayn answering emails and working on lesson plans and assessments. The system Harry came up with really works for him and he does think that he will be ready to get back to work soon. The more he finds out about these people, the more he starts to remember and even miss them. At first, he just connects the faces to the names but then Harry's hit by recollections of their hardships, their struggles and it fucking sucks that he's not there now to help them. Of course, they have someone else available for sessions but the trust isn't there, they don't have that relationship with other therapists. Harry knows that the link between a therapist and a patient is delicate and that is what drives him to try harder to get back to work as soon as he can.

All in all, Harry thinks he's doing really well. Until a few days later that is. He's sitting on the carpet in the living room with all his journals and notebooks, along with his laptop on the couch when Zayn comes in from the study.

"Babe, I have to go to the uni today," he says, sighing a little. "The exam is in like, not even two hours and Jenny, my colleague who was supposed to cover, got like food poisoning or something. So I need to go. And you'll have to pick the kids up from camp."

Harry freezes. "Shit," he breathes in deeply. "Okay, yeah. I can do that."

"Of course, you can," Zayn smiles a little and comes to Harry, tilting his head up and leaving a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm gonna take the tube because there's no way I'd get to campus on time with the traffic. The address to the camp should be in the GPS in the car, yeah? I'm gonna go change and I've got to run."

"Okay," Harry nods slowly. He's, well, fucking terrified. "Go on, don't want you to be late."

Zayn smiles at him and disappears up the stairs promptly. Harry doesn't have the time to register when he leaves because he's actively freaking out. The last time he drove a car, he totalled it and lost seven years worth of memory. But it's gonna be fine. It has to be fine. He's not going to put his children in danger. Besides, logically, the crash wasn't his fault. Not completely.

Harry paces around the living room for a good while to the point where Paul starts trying to catch him and bite his feet. He's too nervous and anxious to do anything worthwhile with his patients so he decides to busy himself with cleaning the kitchen. It's never in vain to clean a kitchen.

After that's done, Harry changes his clothes, finds the car keys and braves himself into actually getting into the car. He's not scared of driving itself, it's just the possibility of disaster. But as he sits down behind the wheel, he takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. He turns the keys in the ignition, finds the address to the camp in the GPS, starts driving and doesn't get an aneurysm. Harry drives slower than what he would like but he actually wants to make it to the camp to get his kids. And he does. It takes longer than what the GPS told him it would and he's early but he's there.