Delicate - eng version

A Long Night

"Friend of a friend," I say.

"Oh," she mutters again.

It's very awkward in here. We're being civil to one another and it's just strange – it's wrong almost. I suppose we're just feeling sorry for one another. We were both humiliated in front of the entire student population of Hogwarts and although she was the reason I was humiliated in the first place, I guess we have something in common after all.

"Malfoy was looking for you," she says casually, now applying lip-gloss.

"Mmm," I mumble. I really don't want to talk to him – well, I want to talk to him, but not about babies.

"I gave him the password," she adds.

"You what?" I exclaim, "You gave him the Gryffindor password?"

"Well yeah," she shrugs, rolling her heavily lined eyes, "I figured it'd be okay considering he's in our Common Room practically every second of the day."

This is of course true, but I thought I'd be able to hide from him now that the password's been changed. Laura gets up from the dressing table and starts rooting in her wardrobe while I'm having a small panic attack. It'll be okay if I just stay here in the dorm – boys can't come up to the girls' dorms.

Hang on.

How the hell did Scorpius get up to my dorm back in October? I was much too inebriated that night to even think about it. Laura changes into a black skirt and red top and puts on her very expensive pair of leather boots – it's her date outfit. I wonder which poor soul it is with this time. As long as it's none of my relatives, I don't care.

Laura sweeps out of the dorm, leaving a very sickening sweet smell after her. I pull the curtains around my four poster closed and stretch out across my bed and start rubbing the bump.

"You're so lucky," I sigh, "You're in there, safe and warm and surrounded by gooey crap – you don't have to worry about anything, do you? Well except for kicking the bejesus out of my insides and, I don't know, keeping the old womb clean." I feel a small kick – maybe it can hear me. "Do you want me to be your Mum?" I ask it, "Do you really want to be born into the Weasley family, possibly the strangest one around? I mean, Nana Molly – well, I suppose she's your Great Nana – has this stupid obsession with feeding people until they are on the brink of explosion. Great Grandad Arthur and Al Potter are completely obsessed with Muggles. Grandad's already left all of his plug collection to Al in his will. And James has the brain of a five year old. Your grandparents are split up over some ridiculous little kiss. And don't even get me started on Great Uncle Percy.

"And you're a Malfoy too, can't forget that. Your grandfather doesn't want me to have you, but I don't think I should listen to him." I'm crying now and I hardly take any notice. "But your dad wants you. And part of me wants you too. I know you've only been in there a few months, but I've gotten used to you. I don't even know what gender you are and already I feel as if we've bonded." I pause and feel another small kick. "I mean, I know what foods you like – you seem to be craving leeks this week. You're a strange kid. Why can't you just like curry? I'd kill for a curry, but every time I get a whiff of it, I practically throw up – actually, sometimes I do throw up."

I wipe the tears away impatiently. "How can I do this? How can I bring you into where Mummies and Daddies are just 'friends'? It's not fair. It's not fair on any of us."

*

I wake up at 2am, having fallen asleep at around five o'clock. I'm still in my clothes, so I get up and change into my Chudley Cannons pyjamas. Dom, Chas and Laura are all fast asleep, but now that I'm awake, I don't feel tired at all. As I toss and turn in my bed, I decide that I'm really just wasting time lying here, so I get up and throw on a pair of thick socks and a jumper – I'm going for a walk. James's invisibility cloak would come in very handy right now.