somewhere in there / jonathan crane

10. stay

"Why are you in your suit? It's like 9pm."

"Will you go nuts if I don't answer your question?"

"No."

"Good. Make yourself comfortable."

Zoe turned around, giving his apartment a better look. "Wow. I never imagined your apartment to be this clean and collected. It's pretty nice."

"You've thought about how my apartment looks like?" He asked, walking behind her.

"Shut up." She replied. "Where can I sit?"

"Zoe, sit wherever you like, I don't bite." He said, raising his eyebrows. He was aware of a lot of things and he was hoping that it would stay that way but Zoe visiting that night was not what he expected.

"Yeah, okay." She uncomfortably sat on the edge of his couch. White and black were the main colors of his apartment. It looked so depressingly beautiful. "You have a lot of books."

"I read a lot." He said, still standing with his arms crossed.

"Are you gonna sit?"

"I need to change first."

"Do that, please." She said, her eyes following him to the other room that she guessed it was his bedroom. The rain was heavier and heavier, the weather was very bad.

Zoe never admitted to anyone but she was scared of storms. She'd flinch every time and her music was always up to 100% on her headphones.

Now, being in Jonathan's apartment comforted in some way. His cologne was all over the place and again, she took it all in with one breath. It travelled through her body like a drug and it hit all of the sweet spots. 

"Why are your eyes closed?"

"Um...I was just enjoying your warm space and also it smells nice."

"Thank you. Are you hungry? I can order some food if you'd like because trust me I'm not a good cook." He said. Zoe wondered how come he never laughed even if the topic was light.

"No, thank you." She kindly denied. "Please, just sit next to me."

Jonathan walked over to the couch where Zoe was sitting and sat next to her, closely.

She looked at him with desperation in her eyes. He was there, in front of her, looking at her with the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen, the eyes she'd wish upon every night.

Their breathing was the only things that could be heard along the storm. It was a good combination except the mouths were not dancing with each other.

"Zoe..."

Zoe grabbed his arm, squeezing it tightly. "Oh, I can't." She looked down, shutting her eyes. She rested her forehead on his shoulder. Jonathan brought his hand to her head, gently caressing it. "Everything is too much for me. I really didn't want it to be this way, Jonathan, I really didn't. I didn't ask to fall for you. It's happening slowly and it's killing me." Her voice was breaking and the rain kept pouring. She could've died right there and the world was gonna keep going. The rain was a reminder to do it then and there because nothing was willing to stop and wait for her. Everything kept going and she was stuck.

"I know."

"I know you don't love me back but I know you're also attracted to me. We ignore each other and then we make out and then we ignore each other again and I can't do it anymore."

"I don't understand."

"It's like we're kids. Thank you for putting up with my shit and accusations and mental breakdowns and what else not. I know that somewhere in there you do care about me. If not, let's end this. Tell me now so I know. I'll change departments in college I'll do whatever it takes not to cross paths with you anymore, just tell me you don't want this."

Jonathan kept silent and stared at her.

"Tell me you don't want this!" This time she screamed, tears fell down on her cheeks but not as fast and greedy as the rain.

Jonathan kept silent again. Standing up, he grabbed her face and kissed her. He kissed her like the sun kissed the skin, he kissed her like the rain kissed the ground, he kissed with so much force. Electricity shocked Zoe's body and she held onto him as she was about to roll down and fall. Not even words could describe the chemistry, the tension, the eagerness, the toxicity the two young people had. Actions spoke much more than words in that small apartment that night.

He continued kissing her, he kissed her all around her face, leaving pecks wherever he could. Zoe stood still and held him. Her nails were in his skin but he didn't mind. 

Apparently, they pulled back.

Zoe was shaking her head and tears were still rolling down her cheeks. "Stop crying." 

There it was. There was the soft giggle Zoe had been waiting for the past dark months. 

"Oh, my God."

"You're tired, let's get you to bed." He said, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. "Let me get you some clothes." 

She sat on the bed and watched him search for clothes. 

"I usually sleep in my underwear so just a shirt is fine." She said, finally calming down.

He nodded, handing her a white t-shirt. 

"I am so tired. I feel like I just ran 10 miles, not even joking." She said, desperately trying to remove her jeans.

"Let me help you with that." He pulled them down her legs, exposing her soft skin. He licked his lips at the sight and this time Zoe giggled. 

She put on the t-shirt and folded her clothes, putting them on the nightstand. 

She laid her head on the soft pillow and he put the blankets over her.

"You're not going anywhere. Stay, please, I'm afraid of the storm."

Jonathan took a moment to look at her, letting the information about the girl run through his mind. 

Afraid of the storm.

He didn't say anything. 

Jonathan turned off the lamp and laid next to Zoe, letting her scoot closer to him. He hugged her tightly and let out a long sigh.

What else was Zoe afraid of?