Photo of my life (Jensen X Reader)

Chapter 43

"Baby wake up" Jensen whispers shaking me softly. I open my eyes and I see Jensen sitting on the bed "I'm sorry I am waking you up but I just went to feed Jack but there is no milk bottles on the fridge" he says
"Yeah, I didn't have much last night. And I don't think I got much now" I say feeling my breasts empty "Can you make him the one from the powder?" I ask him
"Yes, of course. I just asked you because I know that you prefer yours. Anyways, I'm gonna go feed him and then make some breakfast"
"I'm not hungry, I'm gonna go back to sleep if you don't mind"
"No, it's fine. Go ahead" he says and gets up from the bed. I lay back down and I cover myself.

He didn't even kissed me as he does every morning. He is leaving me, isn't he? Of course he is. He doesn't like me anymore. He doesn't want me anymore. He is probably staying for Jack. And I can't even take care of our son. I'm totally useless. I am a crappy mother and a crappy wife. I'm useless and Jensen probably noticed it.

Those thoughts were all over my mind all day that I spent in bed alone. A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. Jensen opens the door slowly and walks inside "Is everything ok?" Jensen asks me softly
"Yes" I say and I wipe my tears trying to hide my face from him. He walks to me and sits next to me. He rubs my arm
"Are you sure? Because you spent all day in here and I'm worried" he says but I stay quiet. I feel him getting up from the bed and he walks to my side so he could see my face. But I immediately turn to my other side "Come on (Y/N)" he says
"Just leave me alone Jensen" I say
"No"
"Why?" I ask pissed and I look at him
"(Y/N), were you crying?" he asks as he sees my face
"Why do you even care?"
"Are you kidding me? Are you really asking me this?" he asks and gets ready to cup my face but I step back "Please (Y/N), tell me what happened and I will fix it" he says
"Forget it" I say and I try to leave the room but he stops me
"Please, talk to me" he begs
"What do you want me to say Jensen? You already know it. Do you need to hear it from me too?" I ask as more tears form

"What are you talking about?" he asks
"Come on Jensen. I'm useless and you don't like me anymore" I say
"What?"
"Last night I wanted sex. I wanted to have sex so bad and I wore new sexy pajamas, sexy underwear and you just ignored me. And you crashed me. You're disgusted by me, aren't you? You are discusted after watching me give birth. And I can't even take care of Jack. I am not able to feed him, I--"
"No, no, stop. Are you listening to yourself right now?" he asks "Me being discusted by you? Are you kidding me? You gave birth-- you gave life to our son and you think I'm discusted of that? Jack's birth was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. JJ was born with a C-section because she was upside down so Jack's birth was a first for me too. Of course I still like you baby. Everyday I fall more in love with you and I can't live without you" he says cupping my cheeks
"Then what happened last night?" I ask
"I hadn't had sex in 11 months like you but last night it wasn't a good time. I just came back from work and from a scene that messed me up. I was a crying mess and Jared was trying to bring me back to reality in the whole flight but my body just didn't want to stop shaking. When I came back home, I was still a bit lost. So believe me when I tell you that last night was not a good time" he says
"And then why didn't you say anything?" I ask
"Why didn't you say that I hurt you?" he asks and I roll my eyes "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just thought that I could do this alone"
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I just needed it really bad. I needed to feel like a woman again. Those last two months I've been a mom 24/7 and I finally wanted to feel like a woman again"
"Do you still want to feel like a woman?" he asks
"Yes. So what are you going to do about it?" I ask.

"Just call me Dean" he says and I chuckle. His hands travel down my sides and to my butt while his lips attack my neck
"But Mr Winchester, I'm a married woman" I say and he chuckles against my neck. He pulls away and looks at me
"Don't worry about him right now. Worry about me" he says and picks me up. I grab him by the collar of his t-shirt and I crash his lips onto mines.
_______________

"Wow" I say out of breath and Jensen chuckles
"I bet you didn't mind me using the Dean voice now" he says
"Oh, I didn't mind at all" I say and I kiss him "I mean that was... wow... I didn't know I needed that. I mean I've thought about it but I didn't expect that. You're awesome" I say and I kiss him again
"Up for another round?" he asks me "Always" I say and he gets on top of me again.