Never Enough (An Azi Montefalco III Fan Fiction)

eighth

Gusto ko na 'tong matapos because I want Azi's hardship to end already.

December 1, 2014 | 9:40PM

_________

eighth

Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano 'yung mga sumunod na nangyari. I just found myself lying face down on my bed, my head throbbing real hard. Kung ano'ng oras na, I didn't bother knowing. Kung nakailang bote pa ako ng beer after that confession with Klare, hindi ko na rin alam.

The last thing I could remember was looking at her beautiful face etched with shock before I went out of the place—cursing at myself for letting those words slip my mouth—and before I could hear her say words that would hurt me so much more.

I couldn't do anything about it anymore. Nasabi ko na, naamin ko na. I wouldn't take it back anyway. I was in love with her and... ugh!

I wanted to blame her for all the mixed signals she had shown which made me more confused of myself. She was just so sweet, so thoughtful and caring, so loving and generous. Her actions gave me hope I shouldn’t have had from the start because it was all so wrong. But I was just a man who longed to be treated the way she always treated me.

At gusto ko ring sisihin ang sarili ko for letting her sweetness penetrate my being and overpower my rational thinking. But I couldn’t. And even if I could, I wouldn’t.

I was just so f*cked up.

"Mmm." I heard a moan from my side. Then I felt a hand embracing my waist. It felt so perfect to me that I liked the feeling it gave—the warmth and comfort I so needed. "Azi..." the woman embracing me uttered. How she said my name was incredibly breathtaking.

I just had to pull her closer, to feel more of her.

But the moment realization hit my already disoriented brain, para akong napaso at agad na napalayo sa kaniya.

Napabalikwas ako at mabilisang inabot 'yung switch ng lamp sa bedside table. Nabigyan ng liwanag 'yung madilim kong kwarto. Kasabay no’n ‘yung pagkirot ng isang bahagi ng ulo ko na hindi ko muna ininda pansamantala.

"Cherry?" I uttered upon recognizing her face—pinkish under the dim light. "Shit. What are you doing here?"

She was just as flustered. Agad din siyang napaupo sa kama. Pilit kong inalala kung paano nangyaring nasa tabi ko siya, pero walang rumehistro sa isipan ko. How the heck did it happen that Cherry was on my bed, under the thick sheet of my comforter?

Suddenly, something crossed my mind. Something I truly hoped wasn't right.

"Did something—did something happen between us, Cherry?" I nervously asked. I didn’t usually ask but I had to at that moment. She did not move nor say something and it made me more anxious. "Cherry, tell me. May nangyari ba sa'tin?"

I was really hoping she would prove me wrong of my thoughts. But she did not.

"Of course you won't remember a thing," she said in a tone frustrated and hurt. "You were so drunk to even know what you were doing." Hinila niya 'yung comforter papunta sa katawan niya at niyakap iyon.

Napasabunot ako sa buhok ko at mariing pumikit. What have I just done?

"Azi..." Cherry whispered my name, her voice shaky. "Don't worry. I... I understand. You don't have to feel guilty about this."

Matiim ko siyang tinitigan. I could sense pain in her eyes which she tried so hard to hide by putting a smile on her face. "Cherry..." I motioned to move towards her.