Starbucks

Ch. 12 - Questions And Answers

This aggression was random, and though Katsuki was a touch confused as to why this was such a big deal, he let Shouto take out his irritation. He just sat there, clasping his hands in his lap.

"Why is it hard to understand? Do you need me to prove it? Huh?" He was steadily getting more and more worked up. Something was wrong. "I can- I fucking can! I have pictures, I have PROOF-!" He went to stand, but Katsuki quickly grabbed his arm before he could make it too far.

"Shouto," Katsuki said calmly, tightening his grip slightly when the other male tried to pull his arm away. "Calm down." Shouto was practically shaking, and he had a distant, yet fearful and angry look in his eyes. It worried Katsuki.

The blonde gently tugged Shouto back down, and the latter stiffly sat back down, averting his gaze.

Katsuki waited for a moment, before speaking again. "I don't know what the Hell that was, but I'm sorry I set you off.. Whatever I said that triggered that, I'm sorry."

Shouto had closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He was counting in his head. His therapist had recommended that every time he got worked up enough to break, or have an attack of sorts, he should count down from ten, and go from there.

They both stayed silent, and when Katsuki was sure Shouto wasn't going to freak out again, he released his arm.

Another bout of silence, and Shouto finally spoke.

"I'm sorry." He eventually said. "I got off track. Next question?"

Katsuki frowned at that.

".. Shouto. Are you, like.. Okay?"

"Yeah. Yes. Just- just had a weak moment."

"A weak moment?"

Katsuki wanted to know more, but knew he had to tread lightly.

"Yeah.. When I-" Shouto sighed quietly, running his hands down his face. "My emotions get a little, uhm.. Crazy, sometimes. When he's involved. I don't like talking about him. He's already a bigger part of my life than I want him to be."

"Ah.. I see." Katsuki said with a nod. It did make a bit more sense now, but still was odd, but he decided he didn't want to push too hard on that right now. "I apologize again." Shouto shrugged his shoulders. "I can stop asking questions now, if-"

"No, that's okay. You can ask more. Just maybe.. Well.. Maybe-"

"Steer clear of things involving your Father." Katsuki finished.

"Yeah." Shouto sighed. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault you're messed up." Katsuki said casually with a shrug. "I don't know what he did, or what happened, but it's not your fault."

"That's what my therapist says."

"They're right."

".. I know." Shouto said quietly. "It's not. But sometimes I feel like blaming myself is the only thing that makes sense.."

Katsuki nodded a bit. That made sense, in a way. Though he didn't know the whole story, that still made sense.

"I'm working on it, though." Shouto continued. "It's a process. It's taking longer than I'd like, but I'm trying."

"And that's all you can do. Try. As long as you don't give up, you're doing better. You're improving, no matter how little it may seem like." Katsuki paused, before continuing. "It comes easier to some, and for others, it comes unbearably hard. But just don't give up. You'll get better."

Shouto nodded, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I know. Thank you. It just.. Sucks to do so much, and still be this messed up." He looked up to the blonde again. "I used to be a lot worse, believe it or not. I have improved greatly over the years, but it's still an ongoing battle."

"And it may very well be like that forever." Katsuki said. "But I hope for your sake that it's not." He smiled a bit in amusement when he heard Shouto murmur, 'You and me both, sister'. That was probably an inside joke between a friend of his. Either way, it amused Katsuki.

"Anyway," Katsuki said again. "We can talk about something else if you'd like."

"I'd like that, yeah." Shouto agreed. In all honesty, he wasn't too horribly uncomfortable speaking to Katsuki about this, but he could only handle so much at once. "So if you've got any more questions, feel free to ask."

Katsuki thought for a moment, facing forward again and lying his head back on the back of the couch. Most of his questions had to do with the apartment, but he refrained from asking anymore of those.

"Oh, I know," Katsuki said after a moment.

"Hm?" Shouto asked, tilting his head a bit.

Cute.

"Why do you come to Starbucks everyday?"

"Caffeination is important in the life of a college student."

Katsuki rolled his eyes, lolling his head to the side to look at Shouto. "You have the capability to make your own coffee here and take it with you. Besides, you come on spring break, in the summer- and you just get cocoa most days in the winter. That's not caffeinated."

Shouto chuckled. "It's sweet that you remember my orders."

Katsuki rolled his eyes again, though he was smiling the slightest bit. "You're just predictable, and I happen to have a good memory."

'And you're fucking cute.' His brain added.

"Still sweet." Shouto hummed. "And I go because Starbucks is good. And my friend works there, and I like to see him."

"Oh? You have a friend that works there?"

"Mhm. You might know him."

"Really?" Katsuki resisted the urge to laugh. "What's he like?"

"Blonde and obnoxious." Shouto said immediately, to which Katsuki scowled playfully. "But," He continued. "He's actually a respectful, genuine softie." He smiled softly, reaching forward to ruffle Katsuki's hair. "Nice once you get to know him, and sweet when he wants to be."

"Sounds like a good guy." Katsuki said, absently leaning into Shouto's touch. "Should let me meet this guy.. Bet he's pretty badass too."

Shouto hummed a soft agreement, running his fingers through the blonde's locks one more time, before retracting them. "He's a good guy.. Patient, understanding.." His tone was getting softer, and the mood in the room was slowly coming down from playful, and going into a softer, leaning towards more serious one. "He's good to me.. Makes me feel special. Good. Loved."

Katsuki was afraid to move, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Anything else?" He asked softly.

"... He doesn't make me feel like I'm a charity case. He doesn't treat me like I'm fragile, and will break at the drop of a hat.. Gentle when necessary, but still doesn't treat me like I'm as broken as I feel. He's realistic, and doesn't take anyone's BS."

Katsuki cracked a small smile.

Shouto's eyes searched Katsuki's features for a moment, before looking away. He played with his own fingers in his lap, looking down at them. He then added softly, "You make me feel good."

"Glad I can be of help." Katsuki said quietly in response. "You deserve more than you get, Todoroki. More than you know."

"Thank you." Shouto said quietly, swallowing. "For.. f-for everything you do and say."

"Friends help friends, Halfie. I've got you."

I've got you. Shouto repeated that in his head.

I've got you.