Lonely Christmas - A Sailor Moon Fanfiction

Chapter 9 - Deep, Cleansing Breaths

Wow... I’ve finally snapped. The only sleigh ride I’ll be taking will be a one-way trip to the funny farm.

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So here’s the plan: I have no plan.

Nonetheless, I still think it’s a brilliant idea to finally step out into the crisp winter air once again and stride down the road. Part of me is screaming to get the hell back into the house while the other part is urging me to do this while I’m feeling stupid enough to actually follow through on it.

It's a short walk to Crown Arcade from my place and doesn't give me much time to plan my attack or psyche myself out, which is probably good on both sides. With a little too much planning I'd probably say more hateful things than I'd otherwise intend, and if I don't do this today-- right now-- I doubt I ever will.

The doors of the arcade slide open with a hiss and I'm bombarded with the loud sounds of the various game machines. Someone's playing a Dance Dance Revolution to my right. Their legs are flying as their feet match the arrows whizzing by to the quick beat of the song, and I realize my heart is matching the BOOMBOOMBOOM of the bass and the flashing lights.

I shake my head and turn my attention back to the mission. First, I look over at the Sailor V machine. No Usak-- Usagi. Next, I look over at the counter and see Motoki's coworker, Masa, serving a couple of giggling high school girls some soft drinks. He's laughing with them, and as I approach, he greets me with the same smile he was giving them, which sort of weirds me out.

"Hey there, Mamoru," he greets warmly as the girls cackle and scatter. I nod to him and look around. "Looking for Motoki? He's off on Tuesday mornings. He won't be in 'til 3."

"...Ah." Well, damn... that's four and a half hours from now. I didn't even consider he'd be off, but that makes sense that the man doesn't work whenever I happen to find it convenient. I'm usually in school in the mornings and he works most afternoons... but just because I'm on winter break doesn't mean Crown extends the same courtesy to my main man.

Well... former main man.

Masa shuffles awkwardly. Is he blushing? "I mean, you're more than welcome to hang out and wait," he says, motioning to the empty stool in front of him.

My eyes look down at the seat in question. He does realize that's a long time to wait, right? I simply smile and shake my head. "I appreciate that, Masa, but I'll just come back later." Maybe. Probably not.

"Oh. Okay, Mamoru... I'll tell Motoki you came by when I see him."

As I turn to walk out of the arcade I raise my hand half as a goodbye and half to wave off the offer. "That's ok, I'll catch up with him when I see him. See you around!"

"See you..." he says, and even though I'm so not into guys I can't help but smile to myself as the doors open back up and I walk back out into the snow. Good to know that I'll have Masa to fall back on if all else fails... heh.

So... now what? I stuff my hands in my pockets and decide that a hot breakfast is my next move. I could go to Motoki's apartment and see if he's there, but part of me wants to be in a public place to have this discussion to keep me in check. I don't want to punch the guy... not that I think I would, but who knows with me these days. Plus, I want to have this talk with both of them at once, and if Usagi was there with him when I showed up...

I outwardly shudder, and it's not because the icy wind suddenly picked up. I would most definitely throw punches if that little scenario was reality.

As I walk I take a look at the shops and restaurants and consider my breakfast options in a desperate attempt to keep myself sane. Bagels, nah... pastries, nah... eggs? Eggs might be good.