atlas ↠ b.blake

11 ↠ reality sucks

     "We do?" Lane asked as Jasper grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the bar.

     The alcohol helped the recent information about Bellamy's love life have a softer impact on Lane. Why should she care anyway? It wasn't like they ever had a relationship or anything. So why did Lane feel so... sad? 

     Jasper and Lane sat down at a table with Raven and Octavia who were laughing about something. Lane was still trying to figure out her feelings, which was hard when her brain felt so foggy. This was why Lane hated getting drunk. She couldn't think straight.

     Jasper looked at Raven and Octavia, "Did you know about Gina and Bellamy?"

     Raven acted like it was obvious, "Yeah. She told us that they slept together like two weeks ago."

     "So right after Lane left?" Jasper asked. Raven nodded, and he put his hand under his chin. "Interesting."

     "Jasper, shut up," Lane said as she tried not to let Raven's words bother her. Why should she care who Bellamy sleeps with?

     Octavia glanced between the two of them, "Are we missing something?"

    Jasper didn't hesitate, "Just that Lane has a big fat crush on Bellamy."

     Octavia's eyes widened, "Really?"

     Lane elbowed him in the side, and he yelped in pain, "Oh my God, I don't have a crush on him, Jasper. You just want us to be a couple, so you make things up."

     "Just listen to my theory," he leaned closer to everyone and spoke like he had just discovered electricity or something. "Bellamy finds Lane in the bunker. Boom. They instantly have a bond." Lane rolled her eyes as he continued. "Then, he gets all flirty but tries to hide it because he's Bellamy. They find out that they're similar, but not too similar you know? So, the bond grows."

     Lane shook her head, "You've officially lost it."

     Raven shrugged, "I don't know. He's convincing me."

     "Then, all this stuff happens with Lane and the grounders. He wants her to stay, but she leaves because of her instincts. He goes after to her save her, but she doesn't come back with him, so he sleeps with someone else to try and get over his feelings because that's what Bellamy does. You're welcome. I'm a genius."

     Raven and Octavia contemplated Jasper's theory as Lane sighed, "Jasper, there has never been anything going on between Bellamy and me, okay? So please, drop it."

    The three people around Lane sensed that she didn't want to talk about Bellamy anymore. The alcohol was slowly starting to wear off, and she had developed a small headache. Plus, the reality that Bellamy and Gina were a couple was very unsettling for a reason Lane didn't care to explore. Why did feelings have to exist? 

     Lane hated how her heart ached to talk to him; to fix things between them, but he didn't seem interested. It didn't seem to take long for him to move on anyway, so why should Lane even bother. Maybe she should just go hook up with someone to make Bellamy feel the same way she did. 

      But that wasn't how Lane approached things. She felt weird at the idea of meaningless sex. She could only be intimate with someone if she actually had feelings for them. She had only had sex with two people; Jack Nelson, who was her boyfriend during sophomore and junior year of high school, and then a guy she dated for a few months when she was twenty. 

     Lane became bored with the monotonous conversation, and she was tired of Jasper's speculations. Thinking about Bellamy felt complicated and draining. Jasper finally apologized for taking the whole Bellamy thing too far, and Lane headed to her room to take a nap after a very exhausting couple of days. She rubbed her tired eyes as her headache increased. Why did she get drunk? She knew better than that.