Lost Together -Drarry 8th year-part one

5. We are the same

NEVILLE'S POV

Me and Blaise walked out of the castle and towards the Black Lack. We sat under a nearby tree. I didn't know what to say. And I didn't want to start the conversation. I'm still embarrassed about what I said earlier. It was a lot, but it was all true.
"So you like me?" He asks
"Yeah. And you like me?" I ask back
"How could I not? Your so sweet and smart and brave. Your also humble and have a kind heart."
"Maybe you think so. But-"
"I know so Neville. Don't think that just because you were shy, always blowing things up, and scared of Snape, that you went unnoticed or were irrelevant until you killed Nagini."
" -maybe I don't deserve to be noticed. And I care for you too you know."
"But I do g understand how."
"Well you are kind, handsome, strong, smart, and you care about people too, just in your own, special way."
"And yet I think otherwise. We both see things in each other the other doesn't. Maybe we need each other to build the other up"
"I told you that you were smart." I say with a small smile.
" See, we are right about each other. How about we hang out in Hogsmeade soon? "
"Would you mind if some of our other friends came or do you-"
"No, Neville. It's fine if we bring others. This isn't me asking you out on a date. You are to good for me to take you out on our first date to Hogsmeade."
"Oh." I say looking down. He was very bold. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he wants to take me out, and somewhere nice, but now I'm nervous.
"No need to be nervous, Neville."
"Sorry."
"And there's no need to apologize. I just want you to feel comfortable and act like yourself around me, ok. There is no reason to feel like you'll embarrass yourself by saying or doing something wrong."
"Ok, I'll try." now I look back up into his eyes.
"Let's go back inside, yeah?" He says. He then leans in, but I flinch back. "I'm not gonna hurt you or kiss you on the lips. Just on the cheek. Is that ok?"
I nod my head and proceeds to do what he said. Then he stands up and holds out his hand, waiting for me to take it. I did but after I stood up, he tried to let go of my hand. I took control this time and kept hold of his hand. He looked at me kinda confused. I just said "I wanted to." And we kept on.

DRACO'S POV

As I was sitting, I pulled out a cigarette. But don't worry they are Wizarding cigarettes. They have a  very low amount of nicotine and they come in lots of flavors, Muggle and Wizarding. That's really the only reason I use them. And they make me feel badass. I grabbed a watermelon flavored one and lit it with my wand. I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled the fumes. It so peaceful and quiet up here. You can feel like you on top of everything and none of your worries or problems can get to you. And that's what I felt, until he walked in.
"You know smoking cigarettes is bad, right?" Harry asked
"Yes, I did know potter." I responded, not turning around.
"What happened to Harry?"
" What? "
"In the ROR, before you left, you called me Harry"

And then it all came back to me. The moment I was trying to forget. 'I LIKE HARRY!' I shouted. What would my father think, no what would my mother think. She wants grandchildren and for males you have to be really powerful. And Harry is but he would never want me. I'm a Death eater, ex or not, that's what I am and that's what everyone we see me as forever. They won't understand what it's like to be so scared, you'd do just about anything so that your family, not you, could live. It worked out in the end, but I should have died like the members of the Order who fell at the hands of Death Eaters. I'm not worthy. I shouldn't be here. I betrayed everyone and because of me people died. Why did he have to pick me. And why did I have to like Harry. It only complicated my life more. And I know that if I tell him, he will do everything he can to help me because that's what he does. It won't be out of love, but of sympathy and his hero complex. Because I don't deserve real happiness, or peace, or love.

"Draco are you crying? What's wrong?" He asked, snapping me out of my trance. I front even know I was crying. I hurriedly tried to wipe them all away.
"Hey, it's ok. I already saw them you don't have to hide. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone that the Slytherin Prince has feelings." He was trying to make a joke, and I would've laughed if I wasn't in this funk. I don't even deserve to be called the Slytherin Prince anymore. They all hate me and I hurt them, put them in danger.
"Draco, please talk to me. You're scaring me. Please say something." Harry begged
"Do you want one?"
"Want what?"
"A Wizarding cigarette?"
"Oh sure."
"Flavor?"
"Is there treacle tart?"
"Of course that's what you want." I say handing it to him. He then simply lights it with his hand.
"And what do you mean by that?"
"Well you do eat it at almost every meal?"
"How would you know?"
"You weren't the only one spying on people." He gave a small chuckle.
"Yeah, I guess we were pretty bad in sixth year." We each went silent as we remembered that all that occurred during this time. "So what were you thinking about earlier."
"Doesn't matter."
"Yea it does draco. And it's only fair you talk about your feelings since I did this morning." I
"Ugh fine. I was, I guess, just thinking about how hard my life is gonna be now. Before, with all of our money, I wouldn't have had to work. I would've, but not needed to. I could've done what I wanted, whether or not I earned a lot of money. Now I have to because the Wizengamot used much of our money to fix broken building and help members of family who had someone that died. I'm not mad about that just, who's gonna want to hire a Death- an ex death eater? And if no one hires me, then I have no money, and if I have no money I can't pay for myself, and if I can't pay for myself then no one is gonna wanna date me, but who wants to date a Death Eater. Anyway if I have no one to love, then I'll be lonely, homeless, poor, and even more of a disappointment. And all because I couldn't just say 'no' to no-nose and for then." I take a deep breath after my rant and look to Harry with shy eyes.
"Draco, it's not your fault."
"Potter, tell that to the hundreds of wizards who family members are dead. They are me and think death eater and associate me with what happened. Yeah, i don't blame myself entirely, but the do and they dorm care that I'm hurting. They don't care if I die, and neither do i"
"Well I care. I dont want you to die now, I didn't want you to die in the Fiend fire, and I didn't want you to die in that bathroom. If you had died, I would've died too because you saved me at Malfoy Manor and you let me take your wand. Otherwise I would be dead and Voldemort would be ruling. I do not blame you because Voldemort picked you to kill Dumbledore on purpose. He wanted you to crack. He wanted to kill you if you made a mistake. Can't you see we are the same, basically. The one everyone loved, Dumbledore, picked me to kill Voldemort. While he, the one everyone hated, picked you to kill Dumbledore. Neither of us had a choice, but we did what we had to do and succeeded. And that's one of the reasons I hated Dumbledore, he never told me anything, but expected me to do everything. We were just kids, still are, but we were forced to grow up fast, and do some things no one should have to do. We got caught in Dumbledore and Voldemort's cross fires. But look where they are, dead. And look at where we are. Sitting side by side and talking out our problems, our emotions, and our differences. We even go to therapy together. Please don't blame yourself anymore."
"Ok, I'll try. But only if you stop blaming yourself too."
"Yeah, I'll try. Now come on let's go back inside. Everyone is probably worried about you and we both clearly need some sleep."
"They aren't worried about me. They are worried about their precious savior." I said cracking a small smile.
"Why yes, that's would make more sense." He joked back, also wearing a smile.