Still

i.

summer of 2006
ext. church in metro manila - morning

I was eight when I discovered my skill of engaging in small talk.

After mass, at the very second the priest descended the stairs and bowed facing the altar, I slipped behind the people in our row and ran out of the church. My parents were calling out my name, but I dashed on, letting the choir's song drown out their voice.

Finally, I reached my destination.

"Neng, careful. You might trip," Mang Luis tells me, a bright smile on his face.

"But I didn't," I point out. He laughs, opening the lid to reveal the plastic cups in different colors.

"So, what will it be?"

I open my mouth to say 'one ten-peso taho', but at that very moment I notice a girl sniffling a meter away. Clad in a pink puff-sleeved dress, she keeps her head low but steals a look or two at her surroundings every now and then.

"Two five-peso cups, please."

There is surprise in Mang Luis' face. Surely he expected the same answer from the Sundays before this one. "Why? Is this a strategy you discovered?"

"No, I'm giving it to that girl."

I gesture towards the girl sitting alone. Mang Luis follows my gaze and nods. "Ah, her. She's been crying, saying 'Mommy', but she wouldn't talk to anyone."

I nod, waiting for my two cups of taho. Mang Luis finally fills both cups, one pink and one yellow, and I proceed to sit a few inches next to the girl. I offer her the pink one.

She doesn't even bother looking up.

With my hand raised for five seconds and counting, I place the cup on the space next to her and sip on mine. 

"I don't want it," she says, her voice hoarse.

"What do you mean, you don't want it? Don't you like taho? Mang Luis makes the best taho."

She shakes her head, mumbling under her breath, "Mommy." At the same time, her stomach growls. I was unsure whether it really was her stomach, but then she wraps her frail arms around her abdomen, lowering her head further.

People file out of the church, one or two adults shooting the girl a worried look every now and then. Sighing, I finish my taho, throw the empty cup into Mang Luis' garbage bag, and place one hand on the girl's back.

"You know, we can't find your Mommy if you keep your head down."

Slowly, she lifts her head. Tears are still streaming down her face, her bottom lip quivering. She is about to say something, but I shush her.

"Here," I say, taking her cup of taho and lifting it to her. "You need to put food in your stomach, too."

With much hesitation, she finally takes a sip of the taho. Her face instantly lights up, and in the blink of an eye the cup is empty. 

"Yummy."

"You want more?" comes Mang Luis' voice from beside me.

The girl's arm shoots out, the cup in her hand transferring to Mang Luis'.

"Mang Luis!" I protest, setting my arms akimbo.

"It's not like you're looking for your mommy, too."

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's her who's looking for you."

Sure enough, my mother comes to a stop right across from me, a stern look on her face.

-

We finally find the girl's parents, who arrived at the church office a few seconds ahead of us. I learn that the girl's name is Allison, and that her family had just moved in near the church. They were originally from the province of Rizal, but Allison's father had a huge job offer in Metro Manila. Their house now used to be his boss'.

I learn all these pieces of information from listening intently to my mother's chat with Allison's mother. All the while, Allison stayed glued to her mother's side. She has her arm wrapped around her mother's torso, and both our fathers are chatting from a distance with their respective cigarettes lit in their hands.

Seeing me waiting rather impatiently, Allison's mother nudges her. She whispers something in her ear which makes the girl in pink shake her head vehemently.

"Go on," her mother tells her, gesturing towards me.

Peeking shyly, Allison finally joins me. However, she stands a good five feet away.

Sighing, I move towards her little by little. "I'm Gem," I say, offering my hand for her to shake.

"Allison," she replies in a small voice, not taking my hand.

"I know that," I say, dropping my hand to my side in frustration. She looks down at her shoes, not saying anything for a good minute. Looks like it's my turn to speak again. "Where do you live?"

"Don't you know that already?"

Gem = 1, Allison = 1

"Are you going to study at Summit?" I decide to ask.

She only shrugs.

"Well, you should study there."

"Why?" she asks, keeping her gaze on her Minnie Mouse shoes.

"Because that's where I study."

"So?"

"So you'll have an instant friend when you study there. You'll have me."

She looks up, and this is the first time I see her eyes without the tears coming out of them. Her eyes are small, made even smaller by the puffed skin around them.

"Sure," she replies, smiling. 

-

author's notes

(i hope people still make these)

hi thank you for giving this a read! i hope you stick long enough to witness how this story unfolds, because i hope to translate this to paper the way the story sounded in my head - a good one. if you haven't seen the tags yet, this is set in the philippines but will be written in english. i will leave notes for filipino references or any use of the filipino language throughout the story. enjoy!

taho - soy pudding. composed of silken tofu, arnibal (sweetener), and sago pearls (like tapioca pearls).

photo reference: wonderpinays.com