fucking cursed shit for friends

Certi x Gideon

    Gideon looked at Certi as they built their base. Their gods, Skeijhir and Mezzioli had been kind enough to provide them with stripping poles, balls, and bright ass lamps in exchange for two cans of beans. Immediately the two lovers found a area with walls not too far off, where they started putting the base together. The two of them finally finished with their base a few hours later, just before night came. 

    The lights in the IKEA shut off, signaling it was time to hide. Only a few short moments after they got inside their base and secured it the employees came, all of them shouting,"The store is now closed, please exit the building." it was terrifying to them. They tried to claw their way through the walls, but luckily their gods who were perched at the pillar labeled F4 were kind enough to give them unbreakable materials.

    The two didn't worry about the employees anymore, but instead looked each other lovingly in the eyes. "My dear, how are we supposed to conceive a child?" Gideon asked, his voice full of sorrow. Certi rubbed his male partner's back, comforting him. "We should ask the gods for a son,  but for now my love, let us rest." Gideon gave Certi a kiss on the cheek as they laid down, Certi being the big spoon.

    After their rest they awoke to the day, and instantly started their trek to the pillar of the gods. They arrived an hour later, and laid down Dr. Bob on the sacrificial table. Skeijhir and Mezzioli were summoned in a beam of light, with it soon disappearing revealing their glowing white eyes. "What is it, foolish mortals?" Mezzioli inquired. "Oh great gods, we wish to conceive a child, but cannot, we were hoping you could send us a young one, we do not care what they look like!" Gideon pleaded. 

    The two gods looked at each other, before nodding. "Very well, I shall bestow upon you a child and a companion." Skeijhir informed, morphing the air into a circular shape while Mezzioli was molding air into a child shape. They finished minutes later, Skeijhir giving Certi a blessed Burger Car and Mezzioli giving Gideon a baby in a blanket, along with fifty cans of Dr. Bob and eighty medkits. "Oh great ones, how will we transfer all of these objects?" Certi questioned, pointing to the sustenance and red boxes. Mezzioli then summoned a car that was hovering off the ground, making transportation much easier. The couple thanked the gods and loaded up the vehicle and took their child and pet home.

    When the two of them arrived they quickly unloaded the car and made beds for their child and pet. When they finally finished it was nighttime, and their house was protected. They had a peaceful rest that night, falling asleep in each others embrace, with their Burger Car by their feet and their new son who was pitch black, Jeff, in a cradle next to them.

This takes place in that one scp 3008 game on roblox since we just had a lesbian sleepover while playing it from like 2:30 to 4