Let's Play, Dreamers (Under Revision)

Chapter 01: Donde Todo Comenzo

Pagkaharap ko sa taong iyon, hindi ko na naman alam ang sasabihin at gagawin ko. Nablangko na naman ako dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman at dapat kong maramdaman dala ng mga nangyari ngayon.

Mixed emotions dominated my whole system.

Mabilis akong tumalikod nang makitang tumatakbo patungong direksiyon ko si Skyler. He was running in my direction,  sadness and sympathy are visible in his eyes.

I won't answer all of his questions. Everything will make no sense, to be exact. For what? To confuse me again? To deceive me again? I have had enough of his words and hearing his arguments will just make the situation worse.

We should stop it now.

I continued walking to completely avoid him. Hindi na tamang makaharap ko pa siya at magkapalitan kami ng mga salita dahil hindi na dapat. I wish, he would vanish in my sight in an instant.

My mind's telling me to stop and face him, to talk to him, to let him explain, dahil may parte pa rin sa aking kailangan ko munang maghulos-dili—but I immediately stop myself from the thought.

Hindi na maaari.

Hindi na puwede.

Hindi na dapat.

I had to finish everything. Gusto ko ng magpahinga at payapain ang isip ko. Masyado na akong napapagod at hindi na kakayanin pa ng damdamin at utak ko na pagsabayin ang lahat ng mga nangyayari. I was completely miserable. This is the only thing I should do.

"Essa! Are you fine? Stop right there! Please! Let's talk! Kausapin mo naman ako!"

And then I stopped.

Bakit ganoon? Bakit huminto ang mga paa ko kahit sinasabi ng utak ko na magpatuloy lang ako? Napakadaya! Seems like fate is against me. Hanggang sa naramdaman kong yumakap siya sa akin mula sa likuran ko. . .

Dinaya ko lang ang sarili ko. Hindi na ito dapat at ayaw ko na, right? Pero bakit parang may parte pa rin sa akin na nagustuhan ko ang yakap niya? I must have gone mad for what I felt.

I faced him, trying my best not to show at least a piece of emotion—because that is my weakness—and he's also one of my weaknesses. I may not take a look at the people around us, but I'm sure that they're looking at me and Skyler who has a scene right now.

Gusto kong umiyak, gusto kong magwala, gusto kong ilabas ang lahat ng emosiyong nagsisiksikan sa dibdib ko na anumang oras ay maaaring sumabog; kaso ay hindi ko magawa! Parang sa isang iglap, nawalan ako ng lakas. Nanghihina na ako.

Anumang oras, bibigay na ang katawan ko.

I don't know what to do anymore and my head might explode anytime. Everything was so abrupt, unforeseen, unexpected. Hindi man lang ako sinabihan, nakapaghanda sana ako.

"W-We need to talk."

Pain is visible in his eyes, it was pleading, while saying those words. His eyes were telling me to at least give him a chance, to explain his self, and to defend his self. Maging ang boses niyang nakapagpapagaan sa loob ko ay may bahid ng lungkot habang binibitiwan ang mga salitang iyon. Sa tono niya, parang sinasabi niyang kaawaan ko siya.

He was the one who comforts me in my miserable state; the one who makes me feel significant and loved. Ilang salita niya lang, mula sa kalungkutan at pagkatulala ay bumabalik na ako sa dati. Every smile of him makes me feel safe.

He tamed every raging wave in me. Parang gusto kong hayaan siyang ipaliwanag niya ang sarili para naman maliwanagan din ako.

Ngunit nang maalala ko ang ginawa niya, natauhan ako. I shouldn't talk to him, to begin with. I shouldn't see him and hear his words.