Forever and Always

Chapter 70 - The Subtle Art of Giving Levi an Aneurysm

"The fact that you had to say "this time" at the end of your question speaks volumes," My mother said. "Look, I don't know what kind of maid I am, but I'm certainly not yours. Your bedroom is atrocious. Don't go around expecting me to pick up after you, Eren."

"Eren, seriously?" Levi snapped. "You know how I feel when your bedroom is messy."

"That's cuz you would literally marry a pack of clorox wipes before you married me, stupid. And my room literally isn't that bad."

"Oh really?" My mother laughed, folding her arms at me. "Then why don't we show Levi? See what he thinks about it, hm?"

"How about we don't do that?" I muttered, looking at my feet, intently studying my shoelaces.

"Eren, let's go clean it real quick," Levi suggested. "So I'm not laying in bed and thinking about it tonight."

"You both are conspiring against me," I sighed, rolling my eyes and turning to walk upstairs.

"Conspiring my ass," Levi laughed bitterly as he began to trail me back up the stairs.

"Yeah, really," my mother snickered as she fell into line behind Levi. "More like, we collectively don't approve of you living in squalor."

"Thank you, Carla," Levi smiled, patting her shoulder while we ascended the staircase towards my bedroom. I opened my door, and heard a quiet gasp from Levi as he eyed the bedroom from behind me.

"What the fuck, Eren? I mean, seriously, what the actual fuck?" Levi snapped, walking past me and immediately putting himself to work. I could see the vein in his forehead beginning to show itself. He was capital "P" Pissed.

"Okay, listen-"

"No, you listen to me, young man, you're not about to go out with me with a room that looks like this. God damn, I'm sorry Carla."

"Hey, you're not the one that made the mess and then left it there," my mother laughed. "Eren you need to go help him."

"No. He's not allowed to touch it. He's gonna do it wrong."

"Then teach him how to do it right. I can't keep walking into a pigsty. You have a laundry hamper for a reason. It's to make sure your room doesn't end up like this, ya know."

"But, my clean clothes are in the hamper," I defended, rolling my eyes at the way the two were jumping down my throat on the matter.

"Then put the clean clothes away, bitch," Levi snapped, stripping the sheets from my bed and replacing them faster than I had ever seen somebody do that before. He tucked in the corners of the blankets, continuing to tuck until my entire bed was more pristine looking than a bunk in boot camp. "You're not allowed to do this to Carla anymore. If I was her, I wouldn't ever let you leave the house." He said as he squeezed past the both of us and dragged the vacuum from the hallway closet and into the bedroom as well as a package of disinfectant wipes. He sped around the bedroom with a furious vigor, wiping down every surface imaginable, and attacking the baseboards until they shone like they had a fresh coat of paint.

"Seriously?!" I groaned, slumping my shoulders in defeat.

Levi only nodded as he replaced my pillowcases, all but one. I let out a sigh of relief when he lifted it and then quickly placed it back onto my bed, turning to me with a raised eyebrow while he moved resolutely towards the piles of clothes on my floor. "I was here two days ago, Eren, how did you get it this bad?"

"Okay enough of your judgement, Sir. I've been distracted."

"You weren't even here the night before last. What the fuck? You know that when we get married, I'm not allowing us to live like this, right? I will be getting on you ten times more than your poor mother has." Levi was folding clothing in rapid fire and then once he had finished, he dumped my dirty laundry into the hamper and deftly whipped out a bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket.

"Oh my God, you're not my dad, Levi!" I yelled at him, frustrated at his scolding.

"No, I'm Daddy," Levi smirked, speaking in a quiet enough voice that only I would have heard his response. I felt my face heat up while my hands flew to my face, covering my cheeks with my hands while I felt my body flush.

"You are my savior, Levi," my mother grinned. "I could just kiss you," she sighed while she observed the young man lathering his hands and forearms with the disinfectant.

"I do what I can," Levi scoffed, plugging in the vacuum cleaner and switching it on, racing around the room and thoroughly sweeping every square inch of exposed carpet. He switched it off again and let out a sigh. "Not perfect, but it'll do."

"That's the cleanest I've seen this place in forever," my mother grinned. "Thanks, hun," she said, pulling my fiancee into a warm tight hug and kissing the top of his head. "Please instill some of that into my son, yeah?"

"I'm trying, Carla," Levi said, faking a sob.

"Ugh, can you guys suck each other's dicks some other time? Levi and I have places to be," I snapped, crossing my arms and glaring at the two people standing before me.

"Eren James Jeager!" my mother hissed. "We are having a moment. This boy is my son, too, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm allowed to appreciate his cleanliness. And please, clean up your language."

"Mom! You let Levi say shit like this all the time," I argued.

"Don't bring me into this," Levi laughed. "This is a thing between you two."

"Levi's a grown adult, Eren, and isn't living under my roof, last time I checked."

"Ugh, so am I mom. I'm basically an adult, too."

"Look, boy, I brought you into this world and-"

"And you can take me out, yeah I know," I muttered, rolling my eyes at my mother's antics, and the fact that Levi was going right along with them.

"Sorry, to interrupt, Carla, but, if we're gonna go meet with my cousins before we head to Christa's place, then we're gonna have to leave now," Levi said quietly, holding a hand up to try and pause the conversation. "If that's still alright with you."

That respectful motherfucker. I rolled my eyes again while my mother opened her mouth to respond. "Yeah, have fun tonight you guys, but Eren, you've lost the privilege to sleep at the apartment. You'll be spending the rest of the week sleeping here until you can clean up your act a little bit."

"Okay, fine," I huffed, taking Levi's hand and practically dragging him out of the house. Once we were in the car, I snapped my head in his direction. "The fuck was that? You got me in trouble!"

"You were already in trouble, Jaeger. I was simply holding you accountable," Levi said. "And you'll live. She said you couldn't leave, but she never said that I couldn't come over."

"I hate you," I hissed, dragging a hand through my hair and letting out a long sigh.

"You'll really appreciate us clean freaks a little later in life for smaking some sense up that round, perfect, totally fuckable ass of yours," Levi smirked, squeezing my thigh as he started the engine.

"Oh whatever," I muttered, settling into silence while Levi began to drive.

"So a dildo in the pillowcase, huh?" Levi said finally, letting out a soft chuckle at his previous discovery while cleaning my bedroom. "That's kinda hot."

I couldn't find adequate words to respond with, and so I remained silent, totally flustered, but excited for the night to come.