Mariah Carey the Pantless Wonder

In a town where no one is old, people are vain and crazy, crime is rampant. There is only one pant-less heroine that can save humanity. Her name is Mariah Carey. She uses her high pitch singing and fists to ward off evil and mental illness. Will the citizens of this not so fine city eventually see how important ice cream really is? This is the beginning of her unusual journey.

In an ice cream parlor store a young boy walks up to the cashier.

"I would like a banana split, a hot dog, and a soda, and a cookie," he said and then hands him a dollar.

"Yeah, that's not going to be enough," the apathetic teenager says.

"Do I have enough for ice cream?" the boy asked.

"No," he answered.

A loud crash could be heard. An ice cream cart had flew into the window and left behind a large hole. Mariah Carey soon follows the cart and flies into Milk wearing a gold cape and a T-shirt.

"What the hell?" the teenager says and goes to get the manager.

Mariah Carey enters the store. "I heard a boy in need of ice cream. I can't stress the importance of the little things," she says. She grabs an ice cream bar from the cart. "Here you go," she says.

The boy is bewildered at first but then contently says, "thanks. Why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Because I have to," she says.

Manager walks into the scene. "Are you Mariah Carey?" he asks.

"Yes, I am."

"Well, you're going to need to pay for that window," manager says.

"Oh you can count on me." she smiles and hands him a wad of cash from underneath her T-shirt. The manager accepts it with a confused look on his face. The teenager mumbles, "Do bras come with pockets now? What the fook?"

She waves good bye and the flies through the broken window and into the afternoon sky.

Mariah Carey's walking down the street when she bumps into Lenny Kravitz. "I have to ask you," he says. 

"Ok," Mariah says.

"Why do you never where any pants? You avoid them like your life depended on it."

She's silent and smiles nervously. He says jokingly, "Does your life depend on being pant-less?"

"Don't tell anyone," she says her voice low and serious.

"What?"

"I got to go. I can't talk about it here," she leaves quickly. Lenny stands there confused then shrugs and walks away.

Back at Mimi Headquarters she sits on her rolling chair pensive. Her assistant asks her what's wrong.

"Oh I don't know how to make people understand ice cream is much more than calories. It's a gateway to freedom. A break from the monotony, from the expected," Mariah says.

"Oh well you got asked to be on Jimmy Kimmel. I suggest you wear pants. It's freezing there," her assistant says.

" I must tell you something, and it must stay between us." Mariah gets up and moves closer.

"What is it?" she says plainly.

"I can't wear pants."

"What?"

"You must do everything in your power to keep me from wearing pants."

"Why?"

"My legs are my life. If my legs are suffocated by pants I will lose my powers."