Chapter 13 : A Challenge Ahead

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Since Jessica was never home to get in contact with, I figured I would try a different approach to get her attention. I contacted my attorney to see if she could contact Jessica and tell her about the separation since she was avoiding all of my calls. My attorney said that she would try to get in contact with her. In any way, I would end up getting my point across this time. On the contrary, my attorney told me I should come home and try to talk to her. If I came home it wouldn't be good; plus, that's why I am paying for an attorney.

Finally, my attorney got a hold of Jessica. My attorney asked her what terms she would like to agree on. Jessica, of course, didn't want to get divorced. She was very uncooperative, or so my attorney said. I was still being directed by my attorney that it would be in my best interest to talk it over with Jessica to make this process better. So even then, I tried to work past that obstinate demeanor to no avail.

Jessica was apparently home one evening because she called me to discuss the whole divorce process. Jessica sounded overly sensitive on the phone as if crying once she heard my voice. She asked, "Why, why divorce? We can work this out."

As we discussed the issue, she began to say it was just too hard, continuing to give me the reason to stay with her. "It is because you are overseas and that I am not used to you not being here with me." As soon as she said that, I went off.

"So, when I was stateside, you were gone half of the damn time anyway." We began to argue more and more from that point on.

I could tell the sobbing had stopped in an instant as if it was a ploy just to make me give in. She then spoke with such aggravation in her voice, implying that it is all about her.

She continued to yell and scream into the phone, "You are not getting a divorce; I won't allow it."

I replied more agitated now than before. "I have started seeing other people." Though it wasn't true, I wanted to see how she would react. Jessica replied, "I don't care what you've done or did, I am not allowing the divorce." I continued to tell her, "I will get the divorce, and I don't care what you want. The process will eventually go through. Whether it takes ninety-nine days or ninety-nine years, I will get the divorce."

Then there was a brief moment of silence followed by a quiet question, "Do you love me?" Jessica asked.

"I love you just as much as you love me. Which isn't very much." I stated.

She then hung up the phone. Thankfully, it was her dime she spent not my minutes.

Now, patiently waiting for anything further from my attorney, I was just hoping that I could get some type of documentation started. I would be happy to detach the strings and be on my own. Then I would not feel so bad about going out and enjoying myself.

After continuous emails and phone conversations with my attorney, I figured I would get some actual feedback. This response took about three weeks of going back and forth. My attorney told me that Jessica was going to fight the divorce and try to get whatever she could out of the situation. Of course, I thought. Why would it be easy?

I told my attorney, "I don't care. All I would like is my life to get back on track."

Once this had begun, I knew now I could enjoy myself on my end and reserve my money. I still had to electronically deposit Jessica the money that was intended for her since I was still legally married to her. Since she wasn't caring enough nor did she care what I did (all she wanted was money), I decided to actually go out and mingle and have fun. After all of this and all of the trouble I've been through, I finally took myself out for a treat to relax. I had to go and have some fun.

One night I was at my favorite club just hanging out. I noticed a new female bartender serving drinks. I have been here several times before and never seen her. Mainly, the reason why I knew she was new was this club was one of those I had to walk through when I was on town patrol.

I was hypnotized by the way she looked. She was petite with an exotic look about her. She was from the Philippines and spoke decent English. I guess I was shocked because most of the people I spoke to had strong accents when they spoke English. Anyway, I couldn't help but stare. Soon, she noticed that I was looking. I had to quickly look away.

To my dismay, she was doing the same thing to me. I didn't notice it at first, but the few nights I continued to come to the bar, I saw her looking at me or at least in my direction.

I finally went up to her to order a drink, and I introduced myself, "How's it going? My name is James. What's yours?" She responded back, "My name is Rose." From there we began a conversation. She noticed that I had a wedding ring on. I told her that I was in a bind and that I had a divorce that was going through. I said it should be over soon though, no more than a few months. I wore the ring as a reminder. I also didn't want to lie about not being married. I figured a lot of people may tell women all around that they are going through a divorce, but really it is just a false statement. I was serious and could not wait for my divorce to be finalized.

Without being too pissed off about my wife, I was thinking to tell Rose that I just wish Jessica could be a traffic statistic on the highway. Not really thinking that Rose would correspond to what I would be implying.

We continued to talk and discuss personal questions and general discussions about where each of us was from, even though she knew I was American, and I knew she was Filipino. We went into more specifics. What little town I was from, and where Kansas was for that matter, and what part she was from in the Philippines. I went into what my job was, and we continued to see what our hobbies were. I found that she was in a band and was a good singer and that before working as a bartender, she was working in a factory here in Korea.

After that night, I continued to come by to see her. I wanted to see if there was something about her that I've ever seen in a woman before. That's not to say I was trying to look at various women; it was just different.

I knew I was still legally married, but that didn't matter because I wasn't planning on getting remarried or having children with anyone at this point in time. I could still have friends and associates to talk to, right? I pondered to myself, feeling slightly guilty, but I also felt calm. This was something I haven't felt in a while. Being around Rose was a good stress reliever. She was good company.

As my divorce went on, so did my work, but I continued to see Rose. We had a relationship that wasn't sexual, surprisingly enough. Most relationships seemed to need to have that box checked on the first night, especially if it wasn't a serious relationship. I've seen other G.I.'s do here.

It is funny when she came to visit me. She would clean my room. She would say I was a mess. I guess she didn't understand me when I said I live in organized chaos. I chuckled.

I noticed myself falling in love with this woman in a totally different way than any other woman I had been with, even my soon to be ex-wife. Over time, we finally got into a more serious relationship that bound us both. We eventually slept together, which I didn't plan for. You really can't stop fate, if you believe in that sort of thing, let alone reality from happening. I guess you could by just ignoring everything or being a barracks hermit, but I couldn't really ignore the situation I was in.

Thiswasn't planned at all, and we felt slightly awkward, still in my divorce andall. Rose felt that I was lying to her and that it had been over two months;that the divorce should have been done by now. I didn't know what was reallytaking so long. We both knew that we were on the verge of love and patience wassomething we had to work on. She even admitted to me that though she knew fromthe beginning that I was married, she didn't want our relationship to dwindle. 

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