Hating You Sweetly

11. Admitting Hate

Ben walked right up to me and turned to face the front. Maybe he was going to cooperate. I laced my arm around his and unintentionally took a whiff of his cologne. God he smelt so good. He still used his Diesel cologne I love so much. 

The music started and I forced myself to focus. We went down causally and mid-way through his hand went up to mine. His fingers interwined with mine and he squeezed them gently. 

That was not part of the plan. 

I regretfully turned to look up at him. His eyes were glued to me. "I miss you,"Ben whispered ever so lightly. 

I stopped breathing. What did he just say? When I broke up with him he hated me. I supposedly broke his heart. He told me he never wanted to see me again and now he missed me. 

His eyes were deep with emotion. 

I let go of his hand before he could trap me with his stare. I went over to the bridesmaid side of the stage and had a perfect view of the bride and groom but also Ben. He was still staring at me; waiting for a reaction. I tried to ignore it but it was getting to be too much. 

Old memories began to cloud my mind. The good times we had when we were happy and together. That only led to the end where I remembered the reason I broke up with him in the first place. 

I felt like I was sufficating so I took off running; down the isle and towards the back exit. I heard heavy footsteps followed by his voice. 

"Laura! Laura, wait!" Ben was ganging up on me and fast. We were already out of the church and in the hall away from everyones' ears. 

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? 

"Leave me alone Ben," I didn't stop walking. 

"Laura we need to talk." Somehow Ben made it close behind me faster than I would have anticipated. 

I shook my head. "I have nothing to say to you."

I felt his strong hand wrap around my arm, stopping me from advancing towards the exit. Damn him. "Ben let me go."

"Laura, please. Can't we just talk?"

He spun me around and I tired yanking my arm away from him. "No, no we can't. You can't just come back here and tell me you miss me." 

Ben's dazzling blue eyes grew sad. "But it's the truth." 

The sorrow in his words and eyes were pulling me in. Was he serious? "Stay away from me Ben." I jerked my arm again. "Let me go."

"I can't. I can't Laura."

I wanted to cry. This couldn't be happening. Not now. And I couldn't let him win. All his actions ever do is hurt me. No, I will not let him do that again. 

I shut my eyes for a second to gather my thoughts. This was ridiculous. This was all ridiculous. I bet he was the one who made Chris use me like a worthless whore. I could feel my rage boiling inside. Ben was behind it all. He wanted to hurt me so he got Chris to help him. 

I should have seen it. Damn it. 

I pushed his arm away and he finally let me go. "I can't believe you. You're sick." 

"Laura what are you talking about?"

I was taking deep breaths but I don't think it was helping me at all. "You put Chris up to it. You made him do all those things to me." 

"That's not true Laura. Ben never asked me to do anything to you," Chris' voice came out of nowhere. 

I guess I was so distracted with my raging thoughts that I hadn't noticed Chris walking into the room.