To: Spider-Dweeb (P. Parker x Reader)

✆ 𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚖 ✆

Tony
You're on thin [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]ing ice, miss (L/n)

Sam
Ooooh somebody is in trouble

Shut your bird beak, Wilson

Sam
I'm blocking you on Twitter again

I'll raise an army again

Thor
I've decided I no longer like Earth
Humanity is doomed

I'm not gonna argue with that

Peter
That's valid Mr. Thor

Nat
Thor where are you

Thor
I locked myself in a supply closet. I've been stabbed 4 times in memory of Loki, been give 10 "magical" goats, and 1 wedding dress thrown at me

Nat
I don't know how to respond to that

Thor
I think the goats are on crack

What kind of meet and greet is this

Bucky
A DISASTER

Thor
OH MY GOD A HAND JUST PUNCHED THROUGH THE DOOR

What the [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]

Thor
I swear if I have to electrocute someone idk I'll cry

Peter
Mood. I'm currently hiding on the ceiling

Wanda
I'm stuck is an elevator shaft!

Nat
You were just next to me 3 minutes ago!

Wanda
And now I'm not
Thank you for that observation

Steve
Did the elevator stop working?

Wanda
Sure, we'll go with that

She totally broke the elevator on purpose with her powers
What a queen
I want to be just like you when I grow up

Wanda
Traitor but awww 🥰

Bruce
What is the renegade and why is a mob of teens asking me to do it
I am very stressed
What's a tik tok
IS THAT SOME SORT OF BOMB

Eye-
Bruce you know what a tik tok is

Bruce
BUT HE DOESNT

Nat
Hulk?

Bruce
No, Harambe
OFC I MEAN HULK