The truth reflection

#randomtalk1

hey this is me and my mental breakdown again
me and my really broken heart again
i trust this guy to be my love
i dont know if he really gonna break my heart or not or my heart break because of my own expectation
he's nice he's lovely but he got hurt by his ex and he keep thinking that our relationship gonna end the same like him with his ex
until now im still struggling to prove him that im not his ex who's gonna make him get that broken heart until feel depressed like that
i love him i love him so much
u guys can tell how much i love him
ill do everything for him
to get his attention
everythings was soo lovely at the beginning
now it feels so different
i know it
and im still hold him
u know
i dont know why i hold him like this
but i dont want him to feel this broken heart to feel depressed like i do
i dont want him to feel sad like i do
do u know its not hard to deal with it?
its not my first time to deal with this shitty feeling
just dont deal with it like i do
i dont know how long i can survive
but
i still survive cause i still have my mom my dad
my mom is the most important one
i argue a lot with her because i have a relationship with my ex and we broke up
he really broke my heart that time thats the first time i really want to end my life and my ex start giving me life like this
the life that i dont want but thanks God
i have my family and my friends so i still can survived
well
i just want u all to know
dealing with depression is not that easy
its really hard even though u already have a strong reason why u still can survive
but still its not that easy
im just turn 18 and i deal with a lot of depression
without no one knew the truth
yeps
only
god and me
knew how bad is it
and God still protect me
now im dealing with it again
because my bf
lol
i love him
so much
i really hope we can be like the first time again

#randomtalkbyme