A story of fire and ice

18.

The heavy feeling that overcame him when he woke up made him sigh deeply and rub his face before opening his eyes a bit. Alan shut off his alarm and stared at the ceiling, biting his lip and regretting that he had to get out of bed.

He had hardly slept last night, mainly because his mind was trying to wrap around what had happened between him and Jessica. His thoughts had been running while he laid awake and Jessica fell in an uneasy sleep after curling up to him and sobbing quietly.

It wasn't that he regretted sleeping with her, but he came to the conclusion that he regretted their timing. Jessica had been far from healed from what had happened to her just two months ago, and despite her encouraging him and almost begging him to go on, he somehow almost felt guilty that he had let himself go on her eventually. Her fingers grabbing unto him, tracing his skin, and her mouth near his ear while deep sighs and soft moans escaped over her lips had tipped him over, giving in to what she clearly wanted so badly. But still, even when he noticed that she somehow started to enjoy it, the thought of hurting her and making things worse on her lingered in the back of his mind. And maybe that was a good thing, because he had taken it easy on her instead of just giving in to what he had wanted.

But even though he had been really gentle and careful with her, she had still curled up against him and cried afterwards. Alan hadn't said a thing but had just taken her in his arms and stroke her hair until she had calmed down and fell asleep. She had been twitching and making small noises during the night; at some point her breathing became irregular and almost as if she was letting out silent cries while muttering 'No, please!'. He had pulled her in again, closing every inch of space between them and trying to shield her against her bad dream with his body as he draped himself around her. Quickly after that, she calmed down and also Alan finally fell asleep.

Right now, Jessica was still asleep, laying on her side with her back towards him. She laid very still, only her calm breathing making her chest go up and down. Alan bit his lip at the sight of her bare shoulder and arm above the sheets, bathing in dim sunlight coming through the curtains. He shoved over and pressed his lips against her skin, his fingers running down her arm and intertwining with hers as he hid his face in her hair and neck. No, he did not regret having sex with her, not at all.

Jessica stirred a bit and inhaled deeply, moving around to face him. Her fingers found his again and laced together.

'You're gonna be late,' she whispered quietly. Alan smiled and looked at her still closed eyes in her sleepy face.

'Nah, I'll be fine.'

'Hmm.' She hid her face in her pillow and Alan softly kissed her. He felt her fingers tighten around his and she gave in without opening her eyes. The warmth in his heart went from just a smoldering amber into a burning fire and he just knew Jessica felt the same, according to her pulling him in and deepening their kiss. He chuckled and went with it, ending up hovering over her again and cupping her face, covering it with butterfly kisses. Jessica giggled and tried to push him away.

'Alan...' Her soft, just-awake laughter made his heart flutter and he smiled, pressing one last kiss on her lips before pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his face, still feeling sorry for himself he had to get out and head to the studio, his self-pity only growing when Jessica sat down behind him. She threw her arms around his shoulders, her fingers stroking his chest and her lips running over the skin of his neck and back, giving him goose bumps. He placed his hands over hers and looked back over his shoulder, smiling when his eyes met hers. He tried to ignore the feeling of her naked skin pressed against his back and gulped, biting his lip at the wave of arousal that hit him when he remembered their entangled bodies last night. Then the thought of taking things too far with her popped up in his head again and he sighed.